Parenting... the Best of Times and the Worst of Times!

I just had 2 weeks off with my son (I was off work and my son's daycare closed).  It was literally "the best of times AND the worst of times".  We made some good memories (a day-trip out with other moms and babies; playtime together in the kiddy pool, family trip, etc.) but there are also memories I wish I could forget and fear I won't.  I can't say which one of us was most frustrated or who cried more; I am still trying to convince myself I am the only one who can remember the bad times.  I have had my eyes open to the truth about parenting...it's hard and often not fun (for both parent and child).

I guess I had extra-high hopes of having a great time with my little Mister since my new job is not only full-time but permanent.  I was thinking of these weeks as a "last hurrah" of summer days together for us as Mommy and Toddler.  With our struggles to get him to nap, Hubby and I also planned to use the time to work on his sleeping ability (basically we agreed it was time to let him cry-it-out at nap times).  What we didn't factor in was the effect that would have on his personality, our relationship with him, or the rest of his established daily routines!  And niether of us even considered how "off" the time was already going to be for him, just because he was away from daycare (his "normal").  Being with Mommy all day, everyday was (I now realize) a big enough change and shock for him!

ADVICE: Never make major changes for your child when their everyday schedule is already turned upside-down!

I will forever ask myself if my son's behaviour changed so drastically these 2 weeks because of me forcing him to cry-it-out for naptime or was it just coincidence that he decided to leap head-first into his Terrible Twos at that time?  (By the way, whoever said they were terrible was sorely mistaken, they're IMPOSSIBLE Twos!)

Sleep Transitioning Update

On the 8th I wrote that we were back on track after a few nights of Mister sleeping with me because he was sick.  He managed great going back in his crib for 2 nights, but it didn't last because his cold stuck around much longer.  He was having so much trouble breathing and would wake up often coughing non-stop...so he has been sleeping with me again ever since.

Last night, after sleeping beside me for a couple hours, he woke to nurse again, and then I tried putting him in his crib and it was a no-go.  He cried and cried; stood there reaching out to me.  I tired laying down beside it (my bed is still pushed right up beside the crib) and touching him through the railings, trying to encourage him to lay down, but he wasn't having it.  Singing didn't help either.  So, I brought him back with me for the night.

Does this mean I have to go back to the first step all over again (we started this process almost 1 month ago!)?  Is this going to happen every time he gets sick; we'll lose the progress we've made?   When daycare reports that he no longer cries when he is put in his playpen to nap, it is so tempting to just let him cry until he gets used to his crib...but we don't want to do that to him.  Plus, when he cries like that it just makes his nose stuffy again and that makes him start coughing and struggling to breathe all over again.  So, crying doesn't seem right for so many reasons!

So...I have no idea what to do from here...it just seems so much easier to keep co-sleeping; it's obviously what Mister wants and likes.  It is easier for me and I enjoy having him there with me too.  BUT...it's not helping me and hubby get back into the same bed...Then I wonder about Mister's nighttime breastfeeding; will he keep it up as long as he is co-sleeping?  Does it bother me?  I don't think so.  I still get a good night's sleep, even if he is waking me up 3-4 times a night for a quick feed (5-10mins).  Will I ever settle this internal battle between being a wife and a mom?

1st Day at Daycare

Mister went to daycare for the first time today.  We were so nervous and sad to drop him off, but he was a trooper and didn't even cry (probably cause he had no idea what was happening).  Tomorrow might be worse...I need to prepare for that.  His daycare provider said he did well for his first day, cried lots when it was time for naps, so she kept him close and laid down with him.  Most of all she was proud of US since we didn't call her even once to check in (I just didn't want to hear him crying in the background, or worse, wake him up if she had just happened to get him to sleep).

From a breastfeeding point of view, I pumped once at midday to help make the transition.  I am waiting to hear from our lactation consultant for advice on what to do with my medications and pumping now that Mister will be away for the whole day during the week.  I am hoping I can still breastfeed as usual at nap times throughout the days on the weekend, at least that would be my preference.