Bassinet in Our Bedroom
Getting our Mister to sleep really wasn't a huge issue at first.
As he got older and become more aware of his surroundings, moving him while he slept became tricky to impossible. Eventually his night feedings were nurse first, then go down in bassinet and top up/drift off with a bottle. (We weren't thinking about sleep associations and his growing dependency on suckling in order to fall asleep).
Nighttime Parenting
One dreadful night, Mister would not settle, we were at our wits-end and exhausted in every manner possible. I had to just put the baby in his bassinet and walk away. I need to think and talk to my hubby. At this point, we had not discussed how we would deal with such a long plight of crying and sleep-resistance. I was so fed up I was ready to just let him cry himself to sleep simply because nothing we did worked. My hubby immediately asked me to skim Dr.Sears' book and see what he said. That's when we learned about nighttime parenting. What an eye-opener for us, and it made perfect sense! if you are there for your baby during the day, your baby can't understand why you stop being there for him at night...parenting is 'round the clock. Within minutes we were both bawling as hard as our baby in the other room and before 15 mins had passed we ran in to grab our little guy and loved him up like our hearts were telling us to.
From Bassinet to Crib
It was the transition from bassinet to crib at five months old (because of his weight) that blind-sided us into the world of truly sleepless nights. Bedtime became a fight, lasting literally hours...starting in the evening and we were still trying to get him down at 2am, 3am, etc. My Hubby and I stressed all day about bedtime and the inevitable battle of being unable to console our son to sleep in his crib. None of us would last on that schedule...something had to change.
Co-sleeping with Mommy
For a couple of months I had slowly started to bring Mister to bed with me at his last night feeding, around 6am to nurse and snuggle until it was time to get up at 7am (to bring my Hubby to work). Those were great moments for Mister and I...such sweet memories of enjoying each others closeness, warmth and touch. So when things went awful with the transition to his crib, endless hours of bring unable to get him to settle and sleep, it was kind of a logical step to think sleep was the bottom line at this point, and we'd all sleep perfectly well if he came to bed with me. That's how we started co-sleeping through the night, every night. Bedtimes became a delight, even humorous as Mister would *giggle* out loud when we'd climb into bed together and the breast was bared for our bedtime nursing. He's consistently kept a schedule of about 3-4 night feedings ever since (unless teething or sick) and sleeping about 9-12 hours a night. Co-sleeping was the perfect solution for all three of us and has served our family well for the last 7 months.
Sleep Transitioning: Co-sleeping to Independent Sleeping in Crib
I have been dreading this decision. How do you know when the time is right to start this transition? How do you go about it? There are so many theories, techniques and views on the matter. Which is the right one? How do you what will work? ...You don't.
It was quite easy for us to decide that the Cry-It-Out (CIO) method of sleep training was not for us or our baby. That made searching for answers more challenging, because it seemed like 95% of the material out there is some variation on the CIO method, but it also helped filter out all those sources and get down to the stuff that might hold some answers.
We are using suggestions from the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley to transition our son from co-sleeping to independent sleeping in his crib. We will employ the following steps:
- First things first, I had to start using the Pantley Pull Off, getting him to stop suckling himself to sleep and falling asleep on his own.
- We moved my bed into our son's room and placed it right up in front of the crib. We removed the entire front railing from the crib so the mattresses are touching side-by-side. I nurse him in my bed and slide him over onto the crib mattress to sleep. When he wakes for night nursing, I bring him back into my bed, nurse and then slide him back over into his crib. We'll do this until he is easily moved and comfortable sleeping with some distance between us and more familiar with his crib.
- We placed the baby bed railings on my queen-sized bed. We'll do the same thing, nursing in my bed and moving him into his crib to sleep. Now I have to lift him over the railing, so this will get him used to being moved and placed in bed.
- Replace the front railing on the crib. This will get him used to being moved up and over and down into the crib. I will keep my bed right up close to the crib, so I can touch him and talk to him and reassure him.
- Move my bed across the room from the crib. Perhaps introduce nighttime nursing in the rocking chair.
- Move my bed out of his room. This will mean that all nighttime nursing will happen in the rocking chair in his room. I have been told that when babies are no longer co-sleeping, they tend to wake less frequently for night feedings, since it's not right there close by. We'll see.
Mister is spending most of the night in his crib. He nurses in bed with me and after he is asleep (10-20 minutes) I move him to the crib. My bed is still in his room, about 2 feet away from his crib. We still have the safety bed railings up on my bed for when he is with me. The first few nights of this set up, each time he would wake in his crib, he would cry in protest. After a few nights, he simply stands up and "babbles" to wake me/get my attention. I'm taking this as a sign that he is getting more comfortable in his crib, knows that I am still close by and trusts that I will answer when he calls.
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