Thrush - For the Last Time!

Yup, it's back.  Last night we went to bed early, Benjamin and I because he is teething and out of sorts.  He fed around 7:30pm and struggled to sleep on and off until we fed again at 9:30pm.  At that feeding I realized that yes, my nipples were sore (I've been sore for a couple of days, thinking it was just a stretching while feeding or something - I should have known!).  I applied APNO and went to bed.

I woke at 11pm with a very painful vaginal burn that any woman who's experienced an vaginal yeast infection would recognize.  I experienced relief from just one treatment, so it's confirmed, I've got an abundance of yeast again...gggrrrrrr.

Well, I guess I am willing to admit that it's never really left my system.  It's been around since before Benjamin was born because I was treating a vaginal yeast infection the week he was delivered.  The many treatments I've taken over the last year have simply reduced the amount of candida fungus, but have not eliminated it from my body, and over time it flourishes back to a quantity that causes me problems.

I managed to sneak in to see another doctor in my family doctor's practice (she's out on maternity leave, go figure).  I went armed with my 3 notebooks of our history with thrush/yeast infections and Dr. Jack Newman's book with his treatment plan.  I didn't need any of it!  The doctor I saw was a sort of kindred spirit; an experienced breastfeeding mother herself, she reviewed my file and right away suggested we consider I take Fluconazole for the remainder of my breastfeeding experience.  I have no idea when I plan to stop.  After some discussion, we settled on repeating Dr. Jack Newman's 28 day protocol followed by a slow weaning of the daily dosage to get me on the minimum amount required to keep the yeast at bay.  I will also continue using the APNO as needed and will take probiotics and grapefruit seed extract capsules daily.

She also suggested I discuss the matter with Lorraine, my Lactation Consultant, and see what her thoughts and recommendations would be about this treatment and prevention plan.

I am so thrilled!  I finally feel confident that this will be the last time I suffer from thrush while breastfeeding!!! 

Never Say Never (Today's Parent article)

Here is a portion of an article by Randi Chapnik Myers in the November 2011 issue of Today's Parent:

Sleep With Me? Never!
Game changer: Reesa Cohen, mom to Evan, *8, Surrey, BC
When Reesa Cohen was pregnany, she was horrified when the news reported a woman had accidentally smothered her baby in bed.  It was a warning that stuck with Cohen - until her son turned one.
   "We moved Evan into his own room, and he started waking up crying at midnight and keeping me up to 4 a.m. every night," Cohen says.  The next thing she knew, she was delirious from exhaustion, and would try just about anything to send her child into la-la land, including the one tactic that she'd always thought was unsafe - co-sleeping.
   For mother and son, the arrangement was pure love. (underline inserted by me for emphasis because this is how I feel).  "We would snuggle and,within seconds, Evan would be dreaming, " Cohen says, pointing out that her son sleeps better when he feels comforted.  Now that Evan is eight, he still slips into her king-size bed when he's scared, cold or just needs his mom.  "And he knows I'm happy about it," she says.

 *Names changed by request.

Stairs

We stopped by to visit Nanny & Nonno (my In-laws) this afternoon.  I had no idea how long Benjamin would last (as in, when would he need a nap)...but we thought we'd stop in to say hello.  It turned out that he was in a great mood, excited even and happy to crawl around and play with mega blocks, balls and a truck.  He was even really vocal about his excitement, which was totally cute! 

After being there a while, he ventured to their staircase, which he has looked at before, but this time he actually started to climb.  At first he needed a little assistance to make it up (he wanted to sit down after climbing one step - not a good idea).  But after making it the whole way up (about 7 steps) he was happy to explore the upstairs.  He did not want to turn around to go down the stairs on his tummy, he wanted to bump down each step on his bum.  The next time he headed up the stairs, more on his own, and continuously this time (no attempts to sit down after each step).  Again, I believe he was actually proud of himself once he made it to the top!

It is so great to see him grow and learn!

Stand Up

This evening, while we were playing with Benjamin in the living room, he was in the middle of the room and stood up all by himself!  He repeated this feat a few times throughout the evening, sticking his butt in the air and pushing himself up into a standing position, then he would smile and clap.  I truly believe he was proud of himself and so were we, our little Mister is growing!

Job interview - here I come!

Yes, that's right, I just got the telephone call; I've got an interview next week!  The interview will be 1 hour, followed immediately by a 1 hour written exercise.  Please pray that if I'm meant to have this job, I will get it!

Junk mail...Make someone smile this Christmas!

Ever get something in the mail that you just tossed after barely a glance at it?  Ever look over a piece of mail that held your interest for a moment, then discarded.  What about that piece of mail that you read through and even kept around for a few days thinking you might return to it; only to toss it later; the impact worn off?  I'm afraid I have to admit I am recently guilty of exactly that; something in the mail caught my attention; even caught my heart; but after a few days I tossed it out, perhaps afraid to admit that reached me on a personal level. 

I'll also admit that I have thought about that little piece of mail a few times since I tossed it.  But oh well, it was gone, too late to act on it, right.  Right?

Today I woke with no plans...picked up some groceries first thing, have some dishes to do and a meal to prepare, but that's it.  So I enjoy my breakfast in front of the TV...nothing really great on...I browsed the TV guide listings and just as I'm about to turn off the TV and get to those waiting dishes I see it.  Yup, the same name that was on that piece of mail that's been at the back of my mind...Operation Smile.  I select it and am immediately engulfed in the promo-show about volunteer doctors, nurses and others reaching out to children around the world who suffer with a cleft lip and/or cleft palate facial deformity.  BAM!  That little piece of mail that had caught my eye, tugged at my heart and still found it's way into my garbage (well, actually our recycling box)...there it was again, right in front of me saying, remember this...remember you wanted to do something with this...My mother's-heart feels for each of those parents, raising a child with such an obvious, un-hideable deformity, to those children who suffer ridicule, low self-esteem and even possible malnutrition.  A mother on the show said she couldn't breastfeed her baby because of his cleft lip and that just tugged at my heartstrings.  These surgeries to repair cleft lip and cleft palate facial deformities are said to take as little as 45 minutes and cost as little as $240 CND.  (I think of how easy it is for us to spend $240 and not really need or even remember what we bought!)   What these surgeries really do is give someone a renewed sense of self-worth, confidence and a glowing smile!

Here we are, it's about 3/4s of the way through November, less than 30 days until Christmas and my hubby and I have not yet started our Christmas shopping.  I hate buying gifts for people; there, my secret is out.  Unless I know there is something I can surprise someone with that they really want, need or will absolutely love, I hate the pressure of having to find SOMETHING to put under the Christmas tree for family and friends.  I hate the feeling that we are just shopping because we are expected to; that it's actually a waste of money to get people something they won't like, don't need or will never use, just so you had something for them wrapped under the tree.  Anyway, you get my drift.

So, here is something to think about...how would my family and friends feel if I bought them a smile for Christmas; the smile of a child, a smile that would last a lifetime and enhance the whole life of an individual and their family?  Isn't that a great gift?  My mother's-heart sure thinks so.  Time to talk to the hubby about my new Christmas shopping list!

Check it out www.operationsmile.org and consider giving a gift that will last a lifetime, the gift of a smile this holiday season!  And why not let me know about it if you do...let's see how many smiles this little blog post can get!

Sleep Transitioning Update

On the 8th I wrote that we were back on track after a few nights of Mister sleeping with me because he was sick.  He managed great going back in his crib for 2 nights, but it didn't last because his cold stuck around much longer.  He was having so much trouble breathing and would wake up often coughing non-stop...so he has been sleeping with me again ever since.

Last night, after sleeping beside me for a couple hours, he woke to nurse again, and then I tried putting him in his crib and it was a no-go.  He cried and cried; stood there reaching out to me.  I tired laying down beside it (my bed is still pushed right up beside the crib) and touching him through the railings, trying to encourage him to lay down, but he wasn't having it.  Singing didn't help either.  So, I brought him back with me for the night.

Does this mean I have to go back to the first step all over again (we started this process almost 1 month ago!)?  Is this going to happen every time he gets sick; we'll lose the progress we've made?   When daycare reports that he no longer cries when he is put in his playpen to nap, it is so tempting to just let him cry until he gets used to his crib...but we don't want to do that to him.  Plus, when he cries like that it just makes his nose stuffy again and that makes him start coughing and struggling to breathe all over again.  So, crying doesn't seem right for so many reasons!

So...I have no idea what to do from here...it just seems so much easier to keep co-sleeping; it's obviously what Mister wants and likes.  It is easier for me and I enjoy having him there with me too.  BUT...it's not helping me and hubby get back into the same bed...Then I wonder about Mister's nighttime breastfeeding; will he keep it up as long as he is co-sleeping?  Does it bother me?  I don't think so.  I still get a good night's sleep, even if he is waking me up 3-4 times a night for a quick feed (5-10mins).  Will I ever settle this internal battle between being a wife and a mom?

Party Time!

Today was Benjamin's 1st Birthday PARTY!

We gathered together this afternoon with family and friends at my Dad's home for snacks and cake and most importantly, playtime for the little ones!  It was fun...but crowded!!  I feel like I hardly had a chance to say hi to all those in attendance. 

Thank you everyone who came (and we missed those who couldn't make it!).  Thank you Dad and Carole for hosting this crazy/fun event for us!  Thank you everyone for all the wonderful gifts for Benjamin.  He was up until 10pm exploring the workings of all his new toys! (We attended another party after his - a farewell party for friends of ours returning to China - and got home around 8pm, but after nursing Benjamin was wide awake).

We'll post a few party pics here soon.

Building with Mega Blocks

 This was taken after we got home from Benjamin's 1st Birthday Party.  He received Mega Blocks from Nanny & Nonno, and from Auntie Christi-ann, Uncle Dwight and cousins Brady and Gracie.

Happy 1st Birthday, Benjamin!

Wow, I can't believe it's been a year.  So many memories...

We love you, Mister!!!

Reflections on Labour & Birth

With Benjamin's first birthday only days away, I have already be reminiscing about his birth day.  This afternoon I watched the documentary called "The Business of Being Born" from Executive Producer Ricki Lake.  It's brought up so many memories of the night Benjamin was born, right here at home, unplanned and wondrously!  Watching clips of labouring women and babies being born makes me wish I'd had my labour and especially the delivery recorded.  I know that might sound weird; it's not like I want to show it to everyone who visits me, it would be private, for me to watch later and remember the details.  I think I remember things pretty well about Benjamin's birth, but I am not clear on some of the timing of events and such, and it would be amazing to see it happen (I was a little preoccupied at the time!).

I am forever grateful to our friends (Amanda, Janice and Bobbie) who told us about their experiences with midwives (both in hospital and at home); leading my husband and I to choose midwifery care for our first baby.  I would consider midwifery care still  uncommon in our society, but I believe (and hope) it is becoming more 'normal' and accepted.

I had done lots of reading about labour and delivery while I was pregnant and become more and more concerned about the medical interventions that take place in a hospital.  It was very apparent from my research that once a labouring mother has one medical intervention, it is usually followed with more medical interventions (various drugs, episiotomy, epidural, c-section, etc.).  I had no idea of what to expect labour to be like, no woman does.  I also had no clue as to my level of pain tolerance (nothing can prepare a woman for the pain of labour and delivery).  But the more I read, it became something I wanted to "experience", not just tolerate. 

The History of Birthing in America
I found the history of birthing in our society very interesting.  Here is my summary of some of th things I read:

Up until 1900, about 99% of births were at home attended by a midwife.  By the 1930s it was down to about 50%.  Hospital births became a status symbol, as only the wealthy could afford it, so naturally, more people wanted it to climb the social ladder. By the 1950s it was the complete opposite: about 99% of births were happening in hospitals and being attended by doctors, midwives and home births were almost obsolete.

Doctors, who attended school to learn surgical practices, felt useless in the situation of normal, natural healthy births.  They needed to flex their professionally trained muscles and provide medical and surgical assistance to labouring women.  Enter the use of forceps, the episiotomy, various drugs, the epidural and of course the c-section.  All this in an effort to offer labouring women an escape from the natural; all this medical interference, opps, "intervention" to make things easier for the women...I mean the doctors!  Labouring while laying on your back is the worst position possible for a woman, it makes the pelvis smaller and the baby must move against gravity in order to come out.  But, this position allowed doctors the best and most comfortable vantage point to watch and assist deliveries.  Let's not forget the doctors' reserved tee time, or the dinner party the doctor doesn't want to miss; so any intervention to help speed up deliveries was also a bonus for women...I mean for the doctors!

There was the "Twilight Sleep" faze of birthing, a drug that was given to women that made them "sleep" through their labour and delivery; in actuality it made them entirely FORGET the experience (and also required that they be strapped to their hospital beds to restrain them from hurting themselves and medical staff during their hallucinations)!   Why are women not only willing but eager to take drugs they know so little about without researching the possible side effects to themselves and most importantly to their unborn baby?  Every drug out there for labouring women causes side effects; the medical field has just convinced us that the benefits far outweigh those potentially negative effects.  Women have been frightened into taking whatever they can to avoid the "unbearable" pain of labour and delivery.  But women have been delivering babies forever without these drugs!

With the introduction of the epidural, the c-section rates skyrocketed.  That's because the epidural slows the birthing process; it numbs a women's body to a point that she can't feel contractions, so her body doesn't know where and how to push naturally and this simple medical intervention of convenience (simply because women are frightened into thinking they can't cope with the pain of labour and delivery) results in requiring a more serious medical intervention: the surgical c-section.

The information goes on and on...if you're willing to look for it.

The more I read, the more I wanted to read.  Why are women not educated about this?  Why do women not seek out this knowledge for themselves to make informed decisions about their own labours and deliveries?    

Originally planning to deliver at the hospital with midwives, I am so thrilled and relieved that we ended up having a home birth.  My personal 'birthing plan' was to try to do it naturally, with no medical assistance...if at all possible.  That's was one positive of being at home, there was little to no option for drugs or other medical interventions, even if I would have accepted them in the throws of labour pain.  I can only imagine how easy it is to waver from your original desire to have a natural birth if there are medical professionals hovering around you repeatedly asking if you are sure you don't want pain killers...instead of encouraging you in your pursuit of a natural birth.

It was probably lucky for me that Benjamin came quickly.  I had read that labours can vary in length and intensity and that quick labours usually were much harder and stronger, but ended sooner...and that was the case for me.  Could I survive a 15, 25, or 35 hour labour without pain killers?  I have no idea, and hope I never do!  I have no idea how I made it through my intense 4.5hr labour, but I did, and I was so blessed to deliver naturally, in the comfort of my home, in my bed with my husband at my side and with the assistance of our skilled midwives.  I will forever treasure the fact that my baby was immediately placed in my arms and nursing at my breast so soon after delivery.  It was perfect.

Perfect.

S.T. Step 3 - Back on Track

After about four or five nights co-sleeping with me again (because he was sick and needed the comfort), I didn't know where we'd be with his sleep transitioning.  We had just put the crib railing back on when he started getting sick, so would we have to remove it and back up a step?

Two nights ago (Sunday) I nursed Mister and tried moving him to the crib. No go.  He was mad!  So, back to bed with me and he was awake and standing up at the crib railing (which is right up against the side of my bed).  So, I figured if he is happy to walk along the railing on my bed, maybe he should do it from inside the crib.  I put him back in the crib standing up at the railing.  I starting playing with him.  Tickling him through the bars, singing (which made him start dancing - a newly developed skill of his) and we were even kissing through the railings.  After about 40 minutes of this I started to get quite, I brought my pillow close by and left my arms through the crib bars and just laid still.  Eventually he stopped standing and just sat in the crib, a little whining, then he'd flop down...sit up, whine, flop, sit up, whine, flop...finally he fell asleep in his crib on his own without shedding a tear! 

Last night I nursed him at bedtime as usual and placed him in the crib; no problems, he went to sleep.   We repeated this a few times throughout the night and once he struggled to sit up in the crib after I just laid him down and cried really loud.  I laid my hand on his back and said my "key words" and he immediately flopped down and went to sleep without another peep.  Totally awesome!  I'm so proud of our little man!
Note: "key words" is a suggestion made by E. Pantley in The No Cry Sleep Solution.  She suggests repeating the same words to baby as they are falling asleep at the breast or however they usually do before you start sleep transitioning.  Then baby associates those words with sleepiness and sleep time.  I thought it was a bit silly, but I tried and perhaps it actually works!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better...Tonight Matthew (hubby) took Mister upstairs for bedtime stories while I got ready for bed.  While I was still getting ready, he whispered downstairs to me that Mister was asleep in his lap, sitting in the rocking chair.  I suggested he try putting him in the crib just to see what would happen.  So, Matthew turned out the lamp and put Mister in the crib...no protest, no fuss; perfect!  Matthew came downstairs and that was that!  WOW!  Congrats Mister, Congrats Daddy! 

I love my "boys"!

It's Back...What a Pain in the Neck!

I guess it's been about 5 weeks since I hurt my back.  I've been attending two physiotherapy appointments and two massage therapy appointments weekly.  I've been limited in the activities I can do around the house, with Mister and just life in general.

Last week, for the first time in over a year I felt it.  That's right, "it".  The nerve pain in my right arm.  The nerve pain I endured for 1.5 years from a work injury back in 2009.  The pain no doctor could identify.  The pain without a cure...except time.  Back then, at about the one-year mark, I went for an electromyography (EMG) which turned up nothing...but the technician who performed the test told me the best piece of information I'd gotten all along...nerve damage takes about 1.5 years to heal...and she was right.  About six months later I began to feel better and the pain disappeared.

It's back and I have no idea what triggered it.  It could be a way I moved my head, a position I slept in, who knows?  Maybe I favored some part of my neck due to my back pain?  It is caused be something going on in my neck, and the pain is referred down the nerve in my right arm.  Regardless, I am upset that it is back..and that's putting it mildly.

With the back pain I am suffering, and all the limitations it's imposed on me, this is the LAST thing I needed.  I was already struggling to deal with being a mom who is limited in her ability to care for her child, a wife who is limited in her ability to be a contributing partner in marriage.  Now, this just intensifies things.

Can I endure another year and a half of this nerve pain?  Goodness, I pray that's not the case!  Please God...heal my body so I can be an active mom with my son and so I can contribute to my marriage in all the ways I want to!

Sleep Transition Step 3 - Progress

Things have been delayed because of Mister being sick.  He's got a cold and has needed the comfort of having mommy close at night.  But, last night we nursed at 8pm and I was able to place him in his crib and head downstairs.  Hubby and I watched some TV until almost 10pm before Mister woke and cried for us.  This is great progress!

He stayed with me the rest of the night.  He had a rough one!  Was up lots, and at 1am I gave him Tylenol and he wouldn't go back to sleep.  He was coughing lots and that was upsetting him.  I finally brought him downstairs to give him some Ventolin and Daddy woke up.  Hubby graciously sent me to bed and kept Mister with him until 6:30am...I slept like a dream and I needed it! (see above post).

Sleep Transition Step 3 - 1st Night

Last night we put the front railing back on the crib and moved my bed about a foot away (so there is standing room between to make it easier to lift him into the crib).

Bedtime arrived, we nursed in my bed and when he was very sleepy I moved him and roused during the transfer and was not going to have anything to do with his crib.  He started crying and stood up to snuggle up to my chest.  I tried laying him back down and he fussed more and stood back up.  I tried picking him up to comfort him and he nestled into my arms and laid his head on my shoulder and settled.  After a few minutes I tried putting him back in his crib and he began crying louder than before.  I snuggled him some more as he stood up in his crib, and then tried laying him back down and he started to wail; his serious "I'm not putting up with this" cry.  I scooped him up and laid him in my bed again, got in beside him and he quietly drifted off to sleep without another peep.  It was instant comfort and reassurance for him to be back in mommy's bed.  I just kept him with me for the night; as he was waking every 45mins to 1hr struggling to breathe, uncomfortable and restless.  Sometimes he wanted to breastfeed and sometimes just talking and rubbing his back was enough to help him settle.

I am attributing this behavior to the fact that he is under the weather.  We think he is teething as the last two nights have been a struggle for him.  He's been waking often and crying lots and having a tough time breathing through his nose.  We figure post-nasal drip due to teething.  But, this all could be a cold starting, so we'll wait and see how things progress. 

I'll try the crib again tonight when we go to bed, but if he is still fussy I'll just keep him with me for another night.  This set-back is to be expected when he is not feeling well and seeking more comforting and reassurance