Christmas Day!

This has got to be one of the strangest Christmas days I have ever had.

We were informed back in November that my Mom was going out of town to spend Christmas with my brother and his kids.  Then not even a week later, my Dad tells me he is going out of town to spend Christmas with his fiancee's daughters.  At first I was sad that I would not see either of my parents on Christmas day, but then it would make it a more relaxed day to just spend with the in-laws and not have to fit in three Christmas celebrations in one day.  But that's wasn't going to work out either...

Go figure, all month I was so worried about us getting sick and having to miss out on Christmas Day with the in-laws.  We stayed healthy, but...they got sick!  That's right, came down with the flu four days before Christmas.  It stuck around for a while, so our Christmas day plans were cancelled (or re-scheduled for later in the week).  But now...what were we to do on Christmas day?

Our church does a Christmas morning service geared to kids, (we don't usually attend - maybe because we haven't had kids til now).  But since we had no other plans we decided to go.  It was very nice to see friends and focus on the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ.  They had entertaining little video clips and cupcakes for the kids after they sang Happy Birthday to Jesus.  It was really cute.  After some hellos and well wishes to friends, we headed home for lunch and a nap.  In the afternoon we opened gifts from Grandma and our gifts to Benjamin.  Then we went to visit my hubby's Uncle Vic and Aunt Faith who haven't seen Benjamin since he was only about 4 or 5 months old.  It was a very nice visit and we headed home for a quiet supper of leftover turkey.

It was an odd Christmas day, but a good one.

Christmas Eve

Today we had a quiet day at home, just the three of us.  Daddy went shopping in the morning and came home with a turkey (since Christmas day dinner at his parents was cancelled because they are sick).  So he cooked his first turkey today.  It was great!  (...cooked from frozen and pre-stuffed, but it was still awesome!)

We watched the Charlie Brown Christmas with Benjamin.  He really enjoys the music of TV shows; he ignores the TV until the music catches his attention.

Another Recommended Documentary: Pregnant in America

I just finished watching Pregnant in America, Produced by Steve & Mandy Buonaugurio.  Wow, I highly recommend this documentary to anyone who is thinking of pregnancy, is pregnant or has ever been pregnant, or knows someone in any of these circumstances.  It's definitely an enlightening film, even if you don't live in US.

www.pregnantinamerica.com

This has encouraged me to do some digging into birthing statistics in Canada.  Check out my Statistics page.

And He's Off...

Benjamin's walking!!!  It didn't take him long to figure it out once he took his first steps.  Within a week he was pretty confident moving around on his own two feet!  He rarely crawls now (except at church, which we can't figure out?).

I wonder how long it will be before I'm chasing him while he is running away from me?

Another Antibiotic!

So ya, I took an antibiotic on Dec. 3rd for a sinus infection.  It was a one-time dose medication that was supposed to stay in my body for 10 days to fight the infection.  Two weeks later, the symptoms came back!  This time I got into my family doctor's office and was prescribed Amoxicillin: 500mg 3 times a day for 10 days.  Here's hoping this works!

PS.  I am still on Fluconazole, 200mg/day for yeast; so my body is being hit from both sides (bacterial and fungal).  Usually taking an antibiotic will cause a yeast overgrowth, but because I am on the Fluconazole, I should be fine.  I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Sleep Transitioning Update

We have been working on this again.  For the last week or so I have been nursing Benjamin in my bed and sliding him over onto his crib mattress to sleep.  When he wakes in the night, I bring him back onto my bed, nurse and slide him back over onto his crib mattress. 

The first few nights were tough.  The move rouses him and he was not impressed to be moved away from beside me, so he was awake and up and moving around his crib for almost an hour.  Over time he got tired enough to snuggle down and fall asleep, usually half on his crib mattress and half draped over me in my bed.  He would slowly reposition himself onto his own mattress and put himself to sleep. 

After a few nights of moving him onto his crib mattress after he was done nursing, he finally started to stay relaxed and would just roll onto his tummy, stick his butt in the air and fall asleep.

Perhaps in a few days, we'll put the safety bed rails back up on my bed and start having to lift him into the crib.

IT is back...after over a year

Yup, IT started up again today after about 21 months without it! 
Hoohum...

First Steps

On Friday, when we picked up Benjamin from daycare, Cora opened the door with a huge smile on her face and exclaimed that Benjamin took his first steps!  When we had to sign him up for daycare, I thought it might really affect me that I could miss this kind of milestone...but it's ok, I'm ok; because Cora was there and was so excited for him and for us.

Saturday morning, Benjamin took a few steps that we got to see, then again at our Mom's Moments group that morning.  We visited Deda and Carole that afternoon and he took a few steps for them too.

We called the other grandparents to let them know.  Everyone's excited! 
Way to go, Mister!

Taking Antibiotic & Antifungal

Yes, I have started an antibiotic to fight off a sinus infection; all while I am still taking Fluconazole to battle my thrush/candida infection.  I was told the drugs would do their separate jobs, but by killing off all the bacteria (antibiotics attack both bad and good bacteria) it might allow the thrush to flourish.  I have to hope and pray that the Fluconazole keeps the yeast under control.  At least I have an extended prescription of the Fluconazole, to continue to take while my good bacteria count increase after I finish the antibiotics.

Breastfeeding your child past infancy is NORMAL

An excerpt from www.kellymom.com:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

• The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (AAFP 2008)

• A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)

• The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1993, WHO 2002).

• Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995).

References [see also position statements supporting breastfeeding]

Milk vs. Formula...under the microscope

A post from kellymom.com:

September 8, 2011. 

We just got a digital camera attachment for our microscope, so what do you think I photographed first?
All three photos were taken with the exact same magnification, lighting, and all other microscope/camera settings. The color shows more detail than black & white, so I left it alone (even though all the colors may seem unusual coming from three white drops of milk).

What are the Booby-Traps?

An Article By Danielle Rigg, JD, CLC and Bettina Forbes, CLC

Want to know the ”Inconvenient Truth” about breastfeeding?  Here it is:

Women are being pressured to breastfeed but set up to fail! 

Most moms are not making it past the first few weeks of breastfeeding because they are being sabotaged daily by cultural and institutional barriers — or as we call them, the “booby traps!”   Think about it.  Why, all of a sudden, for the first time in millenia, do women fear that they are not capable of producing enough milk for their babes?   Why do we hear so many stories of women who “couldn’t” breastfeed, or that it was hard, or painful?   Why are so few women making it to the recommended goals?   Have our breasts mutated?  Have our babies mutated?   Of course not!

FACT:   Moms are  being booby-trapped! Here is a snapshot of  how women are experiencing the booby traps–please note, this is just a snapshot, it doesn’t cover ALL the booby traps that keep moms from succeeding, and there may be some moms for whom only some of it rings true.   There are many, many wonderful professionals and institutions that are helping moms with herculean efforts. But just to put yourselves into the shoes of what currently constitutes the majority of moms planning to breastfeed, pretend it’s you – sadly, it has already happened to many of you:

Your mother (or step-mother, or mother-in-law, or mentor), didn’t breastfeed, so she can’t show you how, share her experience, or tell you what to expect.  Not so with burping and diapers.  At worst, our mothers may be uncomfortable with breastfeeding, have unresolved feelings of guilt or anger,  be prey to myths and misinformation, and intentionally or unintentionally undermine us.   While we understand that the previous generation didn’t know better, like seatbelts and sunscreen, it is a tough issue to deal with when we are at our most vulnerable as new mothers.  At best, our mothers want to support us, but don’t know how. - Cultural Booby Trap!

You’ve taken a childbirth preparation class, and think you are ready, but breastfeeding  got only an hour tacked on at the end, or you took a hospital breastfeeding class but, that unbeknownst to you,  included myths and misinformation and was given at a hospital that does not have a good track record for breastfeeding continuation (ask how many moms leave the hospital exclusively breastfeeding if you really want to know how committed they are). –  Institutional Booby Trap!

Most of your friends didn’t breastfeed, or maybe you are the first in your group to have a baby, so you have no peer group to turn to for support, questions and inspiration.   If your friends did breastfeed, they had an unnecessarily difficult time because of all the barriers, so they tell you horror stories that scare you, without digging into the root causes of their suffering, or they disapprove if you breastfeed in public. - Cultural Booby Trap!

Your friend shares stories with you of being judged, berated or guilted for giving their babies formula by breastfeeding militants (strangers, angry advocates, and even some health professionals!).   - Cultural Booby Trap!

Your ob/gyn hardly speaks to you about feeding choices, because (s)he is short on time with increasing demands as a primary care physician, increasing pressure of lawsuits and managed care red tape, and is not supported with training by the professional association.  Or, (s)he is too short on time to deal with this post-birth issue and expects the pediatrician to fill in the gap, even though by the time the mother sees the pediatrician, too much time has gone by, and breastfeeding problems may already have set in.  Or (s)he is tired of enouraging mothers to breastfeed only to see them quit under family and peer pressure, or to see them be undermined by poor hospital policies. - Institutional Booby Trap!

You give birth in a hospital that is likely to have astronomically high caesarean and birth intervention rates, which negatively impact breastfeeding.   While breastfeeding after caesarean is still completely possible, your hospital is not practicing protocol to support it. - Institutional Booby Trap!
There is no international board certified lactation consultant on staff at the hospital where you give birth, or she doesn’t make it to your room, despite your many requests, until the last second, if at all, because she is part-time, or is too overwhelmed with patients (the lactation department is not high on the hospital’s priority list and is understaffed).  Or, she is burnt out from a stressful, low-paying job and has a lousy bedside manner, turning you off to breastfeeding.  Or, if you are unlucky enough to deliver on a Friday, you may be discharged without seeing her at all before she comes back on Monday morning.   - Institutional Booby Trap!

Your healthy, full-term baby is supplemented in the hospital with formula, quite possibly against your express wishes, whether or not there is any medical indication.   This happens in 25% of hospitals and is one of the reasons the CDC determined that the average score of hospitals on breastfeeding support is a D.   Yes, a D!  Imagine if that was the score for how hospitals handle heart attacks, or breast cancer!  - Instititutional and Cultural Booby Trap!

You are discharged from the hospital before your milk comes in and before you have gotten the hang of it (2 days  for a vaginal delivery without complications; mature milk usually begins to appear between day 2 and 5), and health insurance won’t cover a longer stay.   Your new mother  “gift”  at 70% of hospitals is a diaper bag filled with formula samples which has been shown to undermine your confidence as a breastfeeding mother and reduce the length of time you are likely to breastfeed. – Institutional and Cultural Booby Trap!

Because your baby was given a bottle in the hospital without needing one, he/she has now has a  poor latch:  breastfeeding becomes unnecessarily painful, your breasts are swollen (engorged) because your baby can’t get latched deep enough to drink the milk as often as (s)he should,  and you have to track down a lactation consultant who makes home visits only to find out that there is little or no insurance coverage for lactation counseling, even though breastfeeding saves insurance companies money. - Institutional Booby Trap!

The clock is ticking and your husband or partner hates to see you suffer and struggle, so he tells you ”it’s okay to give the baby formula, I wasn’t breastfed and I turned out fine,” instead of helping you get expert help to fix the problem.   He means well, but he doesn’t know any better either.  You go online and don’t realize you are swimming in a sea of misinformation–even from well-respected, popular parenting sites.  You go to a breastfeeding website, and it is either totally unappealing, or the language is so technically scientific, it’s over your head.- Cultural Booby Trap!

Miraculously, you get help, stick it out, go to great lengths to leave the room every time you nurse the baby, yet your mother-in-law and friends are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, so they ask you “when are you going to give that baby a bottle,” or make comments to your husband that perpetuate myths and misinformation. - Cultural Booby Trap!

Your pediatrician charts your baby’s weight against formula-fed babies and thinks she/he is undernourished, undermining your confidence and self-esteem.   Compared against breastfed babies, your baby is healthy and thriving, but your pediatrician doesn’t know that breastfed babies have different growth patterns so he recommends you supplement with formula. – Institutional and Cultural Booby Trap!

You ask your pediatrician a question about breastfeeding, but since only more recent medical school graduates are required to learn about human lactation, (s)he can not answer your questions.   Your pediatrician may have their own unrecognized cultural bias against breastfeeding.   Most likely, (s)he has no IBCLC on staff, and/or is not required to refer you to someone for your breastfeeding questions. – Institutional Booby Trap!

If you are lucky to have a maternity leave, or are able to afford unpaid leave, you may feel, as Michelle Obama reportedly did, that you have to go back to work just as you have gotten the hang of breastfeeding.   Perhaps you won’t be able to negotiate a flexible work schedule, as she did. - Institutional and Cultural Booby Trap!

Most likely, especially if you are a blue-collar worker, you will have to fight your employer for pumping breaks, and put up with snickers and sneers from co-workers.   Your colleagues who smoke get a fancy lounge with a t.v., but you’ll have to find an empty broom closet or bathroom with an outlet.   You have no protection from discrimination or being fired for being a nursing mom (pregnant moms are protected, but not nursing moms). - Institutional and Cultural Booby Trap!

If you are a stay-at-home mom, you will be expected to STAY AT HOME, and not feed your baby while you are running errands, or taking the older sibling to a soccer game, or going to the PTO;  you will face social disapproval, rude stares, and risk getting kicked out of stores, airplanes, restaurants and the mall.     You will need to have the same endurance and perseverance as an athelete trying to run a race in flip-flops while being jeered at from the crowd. - Cultural Booby Traps!

Anywhere along this road, that free sample of formula starts to look quite appealing, and maybe some of the sneakiest formula advertising and marketing messages have worked their way into your subliminal consciousness; the smiling babies, the misleading claims, the false portrayal of health and vitality even though your rational mind, and health professionals and experts all over the world know very well that formula-fed babies, and their moms, are actually at greater risk for a host of complications, disease and infection. - Cultural & Institutional Booby Trap!

If you can’t breastfeed, or throw in the towel, which most new moms understandably do (the 77% who start in the hospital, have fallen to around 30% breastfeeding exclusively by around three weeks),  you will experience social disapproval, judgment, and pressure for NOT breastfeeding, leaving you to feel that you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. - Cultural Booby Trap!

Pretty grim, huh?  We wish this were a made-up story, but as many of you already know, this is the plain truth for the majority of moms planning to breastfeed.   And there are many, many more Booby Traps than the ones we listed here–Booby Traps like poorly performed breast reduction surgeries, for example.  But a gauntlet of Booby Traps is not the way breastfeeding was meant to be – it is a formula for unnecessary problems and failures.  Breastfeeding was meant to be nourishing for you and baby, pleasurable and uniquely fulfilling, albeit with a learning curve to increase bonding and cement healthy development.

If this is your story, the struggle and suffering you experienced while trying to breastfeed with so many obstacles in your way and so little support may have resulted in feelings of guilt, grief and self-blame.  We want you to know that we understand and that it’s not your fault!  You didn’t fail, the system failed you! Most of you could have succeeded if it weren’t for the Booby Traps!   Best for Babes is offering you a unique opportunity to turn your negative experience into a positive — for yourself and for other women.  It’s time to beat the Booby Traps  and stop beating up each other!  Let’s put the pressure where it belongs:  on the barriers that stand in our way, and not on each other.  Help us help other moms avoid the same pitfalls you encountered.  Join our cause to  BEAT The Booby Traps! You, us, our babies, humankind, the planet – we all deserve better!

To find out how to avoid the Booby Traps, and enjoy breastfeeding from the start, read  Prepare:  How to Overcome the Booby Traps,  and see our Checklist.   You will also want to read our sections, the Learning Curve, and Get Your Best Game on Girlfriend.
 
©2009 www.bestforbabes.org.  All Rights Reserved.

Interview Freeze

This morning I had a job interview.  I totally froze once the questions started coming, getting more complex along the way.  There were things I should have been able to rhyme off and POOF, my mind was blank.  There was geological information I should know, but didn't; or at least wasn't confident in what I thought I knew.  The practical portion of the interview was a 1-hour research exercise, exactly what I figured it would be...and I have no idea how I did at it; certainly 1 hour is not nearly enough time to do thorough research; but the entry template was awful (unclear, disorderly and in desperate need of formatting - it was a real distraction for me!)

Oh, how upsetting to want this position so much and know how well I could do at the job, but feel like I failed to market myself adequately for the position.  I also learned the identity of two of the other candidates and one is definitely strong competition (the other just wants interview experience; doesn't really want the job - from what I heard).

I have to stop thinking like this.  What's done is done.  I have to lay my burden at the feet of Jesus and trust that if I am meant to have this position, I will get it; and if not then God has something even better in store for me. (But it is so hard not to feel like a failure these days: in the job market, as a mother who can't physically care for her child and even as a wife). 

God comfort me!

Thrush - For the Last Time!

Yup, it's back.  Last night we went to bed early, Benjamin and I because he is teething and out of sorts.  He fed around 7:30pm and struggled to sleep on and off until we fed again at 9:30pm.  At that feeding I realized that yes, my nipples were sore (I've been sore for a couple of days, thinking it was just a stretching while feeding or something - I should have known!).  I applied APNO and went to bed.

I woke at 11pm with a very painful vaginal burn that any woman who's experienced an vaginal yeast infection would recognize.  I experienced relief from just one treatment, so it's confirmed, I've got an abundance of yeast again...gggrrrrrr.

Well, I guess I am willing to admit that it's never really left my system.  It's been around since before Benjamin was born because I was treating a vaginal yeast infection the week he was delivered.  The many treatments I've taken over the last year have simply reduced the amount of candida fungus, but have not eliminated it from my body, and over time it flourishes back to a quantity that causes me problems.

I managed to sneak in to see another doctor in my family doctor's practice (she's out on maternity leave, go figure).  I went armed with my 3 notebooks of our history with thrush/yeast infections and Dr. Jack Newman's book with his treatment plan.  I didn't need any of it!  The doctor I saw was a sort of kindred spirit; an experienced breastfeeding mother herself, she reviewed my file and right away suggested we consider I take Fluconazole for the remainder of my breastfeeding experience.  I have no idea when I plan to stop.  After some discussion, we settled on repeating Dr. Jack Newman's 28 day protocol followed by a slow weaning of the daily dosage to get me on the minimum amount required to keep the yeast at bay.  I will also continue using the APNO as needed and will take probiotics and grapefruit seed extract capsules daily.

She also suggested I discuss the matter with Lorraine, my Lactation Consultant, and see what her thoughts and recommendations would be about this treatment and prevention plan.

I am so thrilled!  I finally feel confident that this will be the last time I suffer from thrush while breastfeeding!!! 

Never Say Never (Today's Parent article)

Here is a portion of an article by Randi Chapnik Myers in the November 2011 issue of Today's Parent:

Sleep With Me? Never!
Game changer: Reesa Cohen, mom to Evan, *8, Surrey, BC
When Reesa Cohen was pregnany, she was horrified when the news reported a woman had accidentally smothered her baby in bed.  It was a warning that stuck with Cohen - until her son turned one.
   "We moved Evan into his own room, and he started waking up crying at midnight and keeping me up to 4 a.m. every night," Cohen says.  The next thing she knew, she was delirious from exhaustion, and would try just about anything to send her child into la-la land, including the one tactic that she'd always thought was unsafe - co-sleeping.
   For mother and son, the arrangement was pure love. (underline inserted by me for emphasis because this is how I feel).  "We would snuggle and,within seconds, Evan would be dreaming, " Cohen says, pointing out that her son sleeps better when he feels comforted.  Now that Evan is eight, he still slips into her king-size bed when he's scared, cold or just needs his mom.  "And he knows I'm happy about it," she says.

 *Names changed by request.

Stairs

We stopped by to visit Nanny & Nonno (my In-laws) this afternoon.  I had no idea how long Benjamin would last (as in, when would he need a nap)...but we thought we'd stop in to say hello.  It turned out that he was in a great mood, excited even and happy to crawl around and play with mega blocks, balls and a truck.  He was even really vocal about his excitement, which was totally cute! 

After being there a while, he ventured to their staircase, which he has looked at before, but this time he actually started to climb.  At first he needed a little assistance to make it up (he wanted to sit down after climbing one step - not a good idea).  But after making it the whole way up (about 7 steps) he was happy to explore the upstairs.  He did not want to turn around to go down the stairs on his tummy, he wanted to bump down each step on his bum.  The next time he headed up the stairs, more on his own, and continuously this time (no attempts to sit down after each step).  Again, I believe he was actually proud of himself once he made it to the top!

It is so great to see him grow and learn!

Stand Up

This evening, while we were playing with Benjamin in the living room, he was in the middle of the room and stood up all by himself!  He repeated this feat a few times throughout the evening, sticking his butt in the air and pushing himself up into a standing position, then he would smile and clap.  I truly believe he was proud of himself and so were we, our little Mister is growing!

Job interview - here I come!

Yes, that's right, I just got the telephone call; I've got an interview next week!  The interview will be 1 hour, followed immediately by a 1 hour written exercise.  Please pray that if I'm meant to have this job, I will get it!

Junk mail...Make someone smile this Christmas!

Ever get something in the mail that you just tossed after barely a glance at it?  Ever look over a piece of mail that held your interest for a moment, then discarded.  What about that piece of mail that you read through and even kept around for a few days thinking you might return to it; only to toss it later; the impact worn off?  I'm afraid I have to admit I am recently guilty of exactly that; something in the mail caught my attention; even caught my heart; but after a few days I tossed it out, perhaps afraid to admit that reached me on a personal level. 

I'll also admit that I have thought about that little piece of mail a few times since I tossed it.  But oh well, it was gone, too late to act on it, right.  Right?

Today I woke with no plans...picked up some groceries first thing, have some dishes to do and a meal to prepare, but that's it.  So I enjoy my breakfast in front of the TV...nothing really great on...I browsed the TV guide listings and just as I'm about to turn off the TV and get to those waiting dishes I see it.  Yup, the same name that was on that piece of mail that's been at the back of my mind...Operation Smile.  I select it and am immediately engulfed in the promo-show about volunteer doctors, nurses and others reaching out to children around the world who suffer with a cleft lip and/or cleft palate facial deformity.  BAM!  That little piece of mail that had caught my eye, tugged at my heart and still found it's way into my garbage (well, actually our recycling box)...there it was again, right in front of me saying, remember this...remember you wanted to do something with this...My mother's-heart feels for each of those parents, raising a child with such an obvious, un-hideable deformity, to those children who suffer ridicule, low self-esteem and even possible malnutrition.  A mother on the show said she couldn't breastfeed her baby because of his cleft lip and that just tugged at my heartstrings.  These surgeries to repair cleft lip and cleft palate facial deformities are said to take as little as 45 minutes and cost as little as $240 CND.  (I think of how easy it is for us to spend $240 and not really need or even remember what we bought!)   What these surgeries really do is give someone a renewed sense of self-worth, confidence and a glowing smile!

Here we are, it's about 3/4s of the way through November, less than 30 days until Christmas and my hubby and I have not yet started our Christmas shopping.  I hate buying gifts for people; there, my secret is out.  Unless I know there is something I can surprise someone with that they really want, need or will absolutely love, I hate the pressure of having to find SOMETHING to put under the Christmas tree for family and friends.  I hate the feeling that we are just shopping because we are expected to; that it's actually a waste of money to get people something they won't like, don't need or will never use, just so you had something for them wrapped under the tree.  Anyway, you get my drift.

So, here is something to think about...how would my family and friends feel if I bought them a smile for Christmas; the smile of a child, a smile that would last a lifetime and enhance the whole life of an individual and their family?  Isn't that a great gift?  My mother's-heart sure thinks so.  Time to talk to the hubby about my new Christmas shopping list!

Check it out www.operationsmile.org and consider giving a gift that will last a lifetime, the gift of a smile this holiday season!  And why not let me know about it if you do...let's see how many smiles this little blog post can get!

Sleep Transitioning Update

On the 8th I wrote that we were back on track after a few nights of Mister sleeping with me because he was sick.  He managed great going back in his crib for 2 nights, but it didn't last because his cold stuck around much longer.  He was having so much trouble breathing and would wake up often coughing non-stop...so he has been sleeping with me again ever since.

Last night, after sleeping beside me for a couple hours, he woke to nurse again, and then I tried putting him in his crib and it was a no-go.  He cried and cried; stood there reaching out to me.  I tired laying down beside it (my bed is still pushed right up beside the crib) and touching him through the railings, trying to encourage him to lay down, but he wasn't having it.  Singing didn't help either.  So, I brought him back with me for the night.

Does this mean I have to go back to the first step all over again (we started this process almost 1 month ago!)?  Is this going to happen every time he gets sick; we'll lose the progress we've made?   When daycare reports that he no longer cries when he is put in his playpen to nap, it is so tempting to just let him cry until he gets used to his crib...but we don't want to do that to him.  Plus, when he cries like that it just makes his nose stuffy again and that makes him start coughing and struggling to breathe all over again.  So, crying doesn't seem right for so many reasons!

So...I have no idea what to do from here...it just seems so much easier to keep co-sleeping; it's obviously what Mister wants and likes.  It is easier for me and I enjoy having him there with me too.  BUT...it's not helping me and hubby get back into the same bed...Then I wonder about Mister's nighttime breastfeeding; will he keep it up as long as he is co-sleeping?  Does it bother me?  I don't think so.  I still get a good night's sleep, even if he is waking me up 3-4 times a night for a quick feed (5-10mins).  Will I ever settle this internal battle between being a wife and a mom?

Party Time!

Today was Benjamin's 1st Birthday PARTY!

We gathered together this afternoon with family and friends at my Dad's home for snacks and cake and most importantly, playtime for the little ones!  It was fun...but crowded!!  I feel like I hardly had a chance to say hi to all those in attendance. 

Thank you everyone who came (and we missed those who couldn't make it!).  Thank you Dad and Carole for hosting this crazy/fun event for us!  Thank you everyone for all the wonderful gifts for Benjamin.  He was up until 10pm exploring the workings of all his new toys! (We attended another party after his - a farewell party for friends of ours returning to China - and got home around 8pm, but after nursing Benjamin was wide awake).

We'll post a few party pics here soon.

Building with Mega Blocks

 This was taken after we got home from Benjamin's 1st Birthday Party.  He received Mega Blocks from Nanny & Nonno, and from Auntie Christi-ann, Uncle Dwight and cousins Brady and Gracie.

Happy 1st Birthday, Benjamin!

Wow, I can't believe it's been a year.  So many memories...

We love you, Mister!!!

Reflections on Labour & Birth

With Benjamin's first birthday only days away, I have already be reminiscing about his birth day.  This afternoon I watched the documentary called "The Business of Being Born" from Executive Producer Ricki Lake.  It's brought up so many memories of the night Benjamin was born, right here at home, unplanned and wondrously!  Watching clips of labouring women and babies being born makes me wish I'd had my labour and especially the delivery recorded.  I know that might sound weird; it's not like I want to show it to everyone who visits me, it would be private, for me to watch later and remember the details.  I think I remember things pretty well about Benjamin's birth, but I am not clear on some of the timing of events and such, and it would be amazing to see it happen (I was a little preoccupied at the time!).

I am forever grateful to our friends (Amanda, Janice and Bobbie) who told us about their experiences with midwives (both in hospital and at home); leading my husband and I to choose midwifery care for our first baby.  I would consider midwifery care still  uncommon in our society, but I believe (and hope) it is becoming more 'normal' and accepted.

I had done lots of reading about labour and delivery while I was pregnant and become more and more concerned about the medical interventions that take place in a hospital.  It was very apparent from my research that once a labouring mother has one medical intervention, it is usually followed with more medical interventions (various drugs, episiotomy, epidural, c-section, etc.).  I had no idea of what to expect labour to be like, no woman does.  I also had no clue as to my level of pain tolerance (nothing can prepare a woman for the pain of labour and delivery).  But the more I read, it became something I wanted to "experience", not just tolerate. 

The History of Birthing in America
I found the history of birthing in our society very interesting.  Here is my summary of some of th things I read:

Up until 1900, about 99% of births were at home attended by a midwife.  By the 1930s it was down to about 50%.  Hospital births became a status symbol, as only the wealthy could afford it, so naturally, more people wanted it to climb the social ladder. By the 1950s it was the complete opposite: about 99% of births were happening in hospitals and being attended by doctors, midwives and home births were almost obsolete.

Doctors, who attended school to learn surgical practices, felt useless in the situation of normal, natural healthy births.  They needed to flex their professionally trained muscles and provide medical and surgical assistance to labouring women.  Enter the use of forceps, the episiotomy, various drugs, the epidural and of course the c-section.  All this in an effort to offer labouring women an escape from the natural; all this medical interference, opps, "intervention" to make things easier for the women...I mean the doctors!  Labouring while laying on your back is the worst position possible for a woman, it makes the pelvis smaller and the baby must move against gravity in order to come out.  But, this position allowed doctors the best and most comfortable vantage point to watch and assist deliveries.  Let's not forget the doctors' reserved tee time, or the dinner party the doctor doesn't want to miss; so any intervention to help speed up deliveries was also a bonus for women...I mean for the doctors!

There was the "Twilight Sleep" faze of birthing, a drug that was given to women that made them "sleep" through their labour and delivery; in actuality it made them entirely FORGET the experience (and also required that they be strapped to their hospital beds to restrain them from hurting themselves and medical staff during their hallucinations)!   Why are women not only willing but eager to take drugs they know so little about without researching the possible side effects to themselves and most importantly to their unborn baby?  Every drug out there for labouring women causes side effects; the medical field has just convinced us that the benefits far outweigh those potentially negative effects.  Women have been frightened into taking whatever they can to avoid the "unbearable" pain of labour and delivery.  But women have been delivering babies forever without these drugs!

With the introduction of the epidural, the c-section rates skyrocketed.  That's because the epidural slows the birthing process; it numbs a women's body to a point that she can't feel contractions, so her body doesn't know where and how to push naturally and this simple medical intervention of convenience (simply because women are frightened into thinking they can't cope with the pain of labour and delivery) results in requiring a more serious medical intervention: the surgical c-section.

The information goes on and on...if you're willing to look for it.

The more I read, the more I wanted to read.  Why are women not educated about this?  Why do women not seek out this knowledge for themselves to make informed decisions about their own labours and deliveries?    

Originally planning to deliver at the hospital with midwives, I am so thrilled and relieved that we ended up having a home birth.  My personal 'birthing plan' was to try to do it naturally, with no medical assistance...if at all possible.  That's was one positive of being at home, there was little to no option for drugs or other medical interventions, even if I would have accepted them in the throws of labour pain.  I can only imagine how easy it is to waver from your original desire to have a natural birth if there are medical professionals hovering around you repeatedly asking if you are sure you don't want pain killers...instead of encouraging you in your pursuit of a natural birth.

It was probably lucky for me that Benjamin came quickly.  I had read that labours can vary in length and intensity and that quick labours usually were much harder and stronger, but ended sooner...and that was the case for me.  Could I survive a 15, 25, or 35 hour labour without pain killers?  I have no idea, and hope I never do!  I have no idea how I made it through my intense 4.5hr labour, but I did, and I was so blessed to deliver naturally, in the comfort of my home, in my bed with my husband at my side and with the assistance of our skilled midwives.  I will forever treasure the fact that my baby was immediately placed in my arms and nursing at my breast so soon after delivery.  It was perfect.

Perfect.

S.T. Step 3 - Back on Track

After about four or five nights co-sleeping with me again (because he was sick and needed the comfort), I didn't know where we'd be with his sleep transitioning.  We had just put the crib railing back on when he started getting sick, so would we have to remove it and back up a step?

Two nights ago (Sunday) I nursed Mister and tried moving him to the crib. No go.  He was mad!  So, back to bed with me and he was awake and standing up at the crib railing (which is right up against the side of my bed).  So, I figured if he is happy to walk along the railing on my bed, maybe he should do it from inside the crib.  I put him back in the crib standing up at the railing.  I starting playing with him.  Tickling him through the bars, singing (which made him start dancing - a newly developed skill of his) and we were even kissing through the railings.  After about 40 minutes of this I started to get quite, I brought my pillow close by and left my arms through the crib bars and just laid still.  Eventually he stopped standing and just sat in the crib, a little whining, then he'd flop down...sit up, whine, flop, sit up, whine, flop...finally he fell asleep in his crib on his own without shedding a tear! 

Last night I nursed him at bedtime as usual and placed him in the crib; no problems, he went to sleep.   We repeated this a few times throughout the night and once he struggled to sit up in the crib after I just laid him down and cried really loud.  I laid my hand on his back and said my "key words" and he immediately flopped down and went to sleep without another peep.  Totally awesome!  I'm so proud of our little man!
Note: "key words" is a suggestion made by E. Pantley in The No Cry Sleep Solution.  She suggests repeating the same words to baby as they are falling asleep at the breast or however they usually do before you start sleep transitioning.  Then baby associates those words with sleepiness and sleep time.  I thought it was a bit silly, but I tried and perhaps it actually works!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better...Tonight Matthew (hubby) took Mister upstairs for bedtime stories while I got ready for bed.  While I was still getting ready, he whispered downstairs to me that Mister was asleep in his lap, sitting in the rocking chair.  I suggested he try putting him in the crib just to see what would happen.  So, Matthew turned out the lamp and put Mister in the crib...no protest, no fuss; perfect!  Matthew came downstairs and that was that!  WOW!  Congrats Mister, Congrats Daddy! 

I love my "boys"!

It's Back...What a Pain in the Neck!

I guess it's been about 5 weeks since I hurt my back.  I've been attending two physiotherapy appointments and two massage therapy appointments weekly.  I've been limited in the activities I can do around the house, with Mister and just life in general.

Last week, for the first time in over a year I felt it.  That's right, "it".  The nerve pain in my right arm.  The nerve pain I endured for 1.5 years from a work injury back in 2009.  The pain no doctor could identify.  The pain without a cure...except time.  Back then, at about the one-year mark, I went for an electromyography (EMG) which turned up nothing...but the technician who performed the test told me the best piece of information I'd gotten all along...nerve damage takes about 1.5 years to heal...and she was right.  About six months later I began to feel better and the pain disappeared.

It's back and I have no idea what triggered it.  It could be a way I moved my head, a position I slept in, who knows?  Maybe I favored some part of my neck due to my back pain?  It is caused be something going on in my neck, and the pain is referred down the nerve in my right arm.  Regardless, I am upset that it is back..and that's putting it mildly.

With the back pain I am suffering, and all the limitations it's imposed on me, this is the LAST thing I needed.  I was already struggling to deal with being a mom who is limited in her ability to care for her child, a wife who is limited in her ability to be a contributing partner in marriage.  Now, this just intensifies things.

Can I endure another year and a half of this nerve pain?  Goodness, I pray that's not the case!  Please God...heal my body so I can be an active mom with my son and so I can contribute to my marriage in all the ways I want to!

Sleep Transition Step 3 - Progress

Things have been delayed because of Mister being sick.  He's got a cold and has needed the comfort of having mommy close at night.  But, last night we nursed at 8pm and I was able to place him in his crib and head downstairs.  Hubby and I watched some TV until almost 10pm before Mister woke and cried for us.  This is great progress!

He stayed with me the rest of the night.  He had a rough one!  Was up lots, and at 1am I gave him Tylenol and he wouldn't go back to sleep.  He was coughing lots and that was upsetting him.  I finally brought him downstairs to give him some Ventolin and Daddy woke up.  Hubby graciously sent me to bed and kept Mister with him until 6:30am...I slept like a dream and I needed it! (see above post).

Sleep Transition Step 3 - 1st Night

Last night we put the front railing back on the crib and moved my bed about a foot away (so there is standing room between to make it easier to lift him into the crib).

Bedtime arrived, we nursed in my bed and when he was very sleepy I moved him and roused during the transfer and was not going to have anything to do with his crib.  He started crying and stood up to snuggle up to my chest.  I tried laying him back down and he fussed more and stood back up.  I tried picking him up to comfort him and he nestled into my arms and laid his head on my shoulder and settled.  After a few minutes I tried putting him back in his crib and he began crying louder than before.  I snuggled him some more as he stood up in his crib, and then tried laying him back down and he started to wail; his serious "I'm not putting up with this" cry.  I scooped him up and laid him in my bed again, got in beside him and he quietly drifted off to sleep without another peep.  It was instant comfort and reassurance for him to be back in mommy's bed.  I just kept him with me for the night; as he was waking every 45mins to 1hr struggling to breathe, uncomfortable and restless.  Sometimes he wanted to breastfeed and sometimes just talking and rubbing his back was enough to help him settle.

I am attributing this behavior to the fact that he is under the weather.  We think he is teething as the last two nights have been a struggle for him.  He's been waking often and crying lots and having a tough time breathing through his nose.  We figure post-nasal drip due to teething.  But, this all could be a cold starting, so we'll wait and see how things progress. 

I'll try the crib again tonight when we go to bed, but if he is still fussy I'll just keep him with me for another night.  This set-back is to be expected when he is not feeling well and seeking more comforting and reassurance

Mister's 1st Halloween

At 11.5 months old, Mister has no clue what today is all about.  We have a costume for him and we'll get him dressed up after supper and go visit the grandparents.  I'll have to post a pic here later.  I can't wait for him to be older and able to choose his own costume and be excited for the day.

We bought a pumpkin too and my Hubby carved it up on the weekend.  We found a Mario (Mario Brothers) stencil (my hubby's never used a pumpkin stencil before).  Hubby took our pumpkin to work for an office pumpkin carving competition and he won 1st place!

Mister's 1st Haircut

Today is a day of firsts.  This afternoon we are taking him to get his first haircut. We're going to go see my hubby's barber, who has graciously offered to open up shop on his usual day off so the whole family can come watch and take pictures of the event.  All the grandparents have been invited.  I hope Mister sits still enough for some hair to be taken off!  I'll add pics later.

...Mister did so well.  He cried for the first five minutes, trying to bury into Daddy's chest to get away from the barber.  But then he calmed down and let it happen.  He looks so grown up, like a little boy instead of an infant!

Sleep Transition Step 2 - 1st Night

So, only a few minutes after last night's post I asked my hubby what he thought about when we should move to step two and put up the safety bed railings on my bed so there is a short barrier between my bed and Mister's crib.  We decided to go ahead and make the change last night.  We put up the railings and kept my bed right up close to the crib. So, after I nurse I have to kneel on the bed and lift Mister up and over the railing and lay him down in the crib.

He did AWESOME!  The only change was that he woke more frequently, almost every 1.5 hrs!  Ya, not cool, but it's his first night with a barrier between him and me, so I'll chalk it up to that and see if tonight goes any better.  Maybe we have to dress him a little warmer?

We are making progress and no tears from Mister (or us)!

Sleep Transition Step 1 - Progress

It's been four nights now of me nursing Mister in my bed and sliding him over onto the crib mattress.  He seems to settle really well, get comfy and go to sleep. His waking pattern has changed slightly, but this could be due to shorter or missed naps at daycare recently.  He's ready to go do around 7:30pm, has me up around 11pm, 1am, 4am and sometimes once more at 6am.  This last feeding is probably just a new waking time, not sure yet, but I feed him and keep him with me in my bed after that because we get up at 7am anyway.

I am getting tempted to put up a bed railing or even the crib bars we took off, and see how he reacts.  He needs to get used to being moved after nursing and settling himself to sleep.  I am worried about my back (recently strained) having to lift him over the railing, but I guess I just have to try it and see how it goes.  We are having a friend come over tomorrow evening to babysit while we get a RARE evening out.  So I think we will leave things as they are until Saturday night.

I am also getting anxious/starting to dread the thought of his night feedings when we are no longer co-sleeping.  We have a rocking chair in his room, but that still means I will have to get out of bed and be really awake each time he's up.  The thought of having to get out of my warm bed is disturbing. Why am I giving up the comfort and convenience of co-sleeping?  I just have to hope and pray that once Mister is comfortable on his own in his crib and my bed is out of his room, that he will start to sleep longer stretches and wake me less during the night.  If we can get him on his own, and I am not right there, he won't be able to smell me or feel me close, so maybe he won't think of nursing?  Plus, there is always the option of my hubby taking a turn at trying to comfort Mister when he wakes; which we'll only do after Mister is comfortable and confident on his own for some time.

But so far, so good...and NO crying about sleeping on a different mattress than mommy!

Sleep Transition Step 1 - 1st Night

Last night was our first night in the transition from co-sleeping to independent sleeping for our little Mister (although he hasn't a clue).

The Setup
We removed the front panel of railings from the crib and snugged the back of the crib against the wall. Then we moved my bed into his room and squished it up tightly in front of the crib.  Unfortunately we could not get the crib mattress to be the same height as my mattress (~4" difference).  This will require that I nurse him in my bed and then move him down onto the crib after each feed. (Maybe not a bad thing, since he has to get used to being moved).

The Goal
We want Mister to get used to his room and his crib; the look, feel, smell and sound of it and sleeping with a little distance between him and I.

The Plan
Because of the difference in height of the mattresses, we thought we'd let him just co-sleep with me as usual for a couple of nights to get used to the new room. Then I'd start to try moving him down onto the crib mattress after each nursing.

The 1st Night:
...but while we were nursing at bedtime, I thought, what have I got to lose if I try to move him into the crib? Let's see what he does, if he protests, I'll just bring him back to my side. So, I did the Pantley Pull Off (PPO - we've been working on this for about 10 days now) and kind of awkwardly picked him up/pushed him over into the crib. He barely stirred! Success! That was 10pm.

• 1am - 15 mins nursing and moved him back to crib. He moved around to bit, got comfortable and slept soundly.
• 3:20am - 15 mins nursing and back to crib.
• 5:15am - This is his tricky time of night, as of late. He has a tougher time getting back to sleep at this point, and likes to suckle longer...to a point of causing me pain...so he was upset when I pulled him off and hid myself away. I sang, touched, cuddled, first with me, and then with him on his own crib mattress. Eventually I did nurse him again at 5:45am and he drifted right back to sleep in his crib
  
• Daddy came to wake us both up at 7:15am!
  

Overall, it was a totally normal night for us as far as his frequency of waking to feed and settling back to sleep. I was amazed that he didn't really react to being moved to the crib (it's not a smooth motion, as the crib mattress is about 4 inches lower then my bed). So, I'll repeat this process again tonight and maybe a few more nights and see how he does. My goal will be to try to do the PPO earlier and earlier so he is more awake and more aware of being moved away from me and gets comfortable falling the rest of the way to sleep without suckling and with a little distance between us.

Discuss, Plan & Prepare

On Saturday, Mister woke for his 5am feeding and I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards. Thoughts of the reading I have been doing about transitioning him from co-sleeping to independent sleeping were starting to organize themselves in my mind.  Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution breakdown of the process has given me confidence that we can do this (and without any tears: baby or parents).

We needed a goal, what was our desired end result? There seemed to be two options, crib or mattress on the floor of his room. Which would I personally prefer? I thought the mattress idea would be easier to accomplish, but for safety and security, I thought the crib might be better. Not sure... Time to talk to my Hubby about what I have been reading and decide on a goal, then a plan could be laid out.

Over breakfast, I shared my mind-wanderings with my Hubby and we made a decision. The crib is our ultimate goal, mostly for safety reasons because Mister is so mobile now. I detailed how my research had broken down the process of the transition. It would require some furniture shifts. We agreed on a plan of action and called my dad to help with the furniture move...for the next day! (might as well jump in with both feet)!

So, my dad and his fiancee arrived in the late afternoon and within an hour had our new set up ready. Here goes nothing...

Research - A parent's best bet

Before becoming a parent, it was important to me to finish my university education (my hubby and I married while I was still in school, so we waited to start our family until I graduated). From those four challenging and satisfying years, I learned that information is out there: good, bad and otherwise; you have to assess the quality of the information you find.

As parents, the one thing we receive most from those around us is advice. It is never-ending. Sometimes it's sought after, sometimes it's offered up freely (if not forcefully). In my short (11 months) experience of being a parent, I've learned that parenting advice is like the daily mail; you have to sort through it. Some of it is like bills, you have to give credit where credit is due, and some are pieces of interest while most of it is just junk.

Yes, there's advice from family and friends, even strangers and then there's advice from the "professionals" a.k.a. BOOKS. Countless books on every imaginable parenting topic, it's literally overwhelming. Which book do you choose? Who do you believe?  Start with knowing yourselves, your views on what you think is best for your child.  Find authors who fell the same why and offer advice with those same beliefs.

Throughout my trails and tribulations of breastfeeding my little Mister, our lactation consultant taught me that information leads to knowledge and knowledge is confidence.  If there is one thing every parent needs it's confidence!

Bottom line...Research is key. So, if you've got a question, or are facing a challenge, it never hurts to ask around, talk to professionals, and do some reading.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution - We can do this!

I've been reading through Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution and soaking it up.  It makes so much sense!  I now have a goal of my son being able to sleep on his own one day and confidence that we can make it happen without any crying!  In preparation for it, I have started to work on his dependence of suckling to fall asleep.  Also, looking toward a time when he is sleeping on his own, I want to have a variety of ways to comfort him, so I'm going to adopt her suggestions of a lovey and key words.

Like I mentioned, I started the Pantley Pull Off with Mister during night feedings and we are down to one PPO, rarely two.  I used to let him nurse and suckle as long as he wanted, often he'd pop off himself once he was in a deep enough sleep.  Not anymore, he nurses one side, then the other and as soon as his swallowing has stopped and the sucking has slowed, I do a PPO and he rolls over and falls the rest of the way to sleep on his own.  It's awesome!

I have selected a little blue teddy from his collection to be his 'lovey', so it 'snuggles' with us in bed when he is nursing.  And while he is drifting off to sleep I have started whispering key words (i.e. night night, sweet dreams) as sleep cues for later use when he is going to sleep on his own.

Imagine my surprise when I found Pantley's step-by-step instructions to transitioning baby from co-sleeping to his own bed!  Jackpot!  Four easy steps that I can visualize and see them working for us.  Our first issue was Mister's dependency on nursing, which we are already addressing with success.  The next big issue when he was 5 months old and we tried moving him to his crib was that he would fall asleep in our arms and wake with the slightest movement.  He needs to be able to put himself to sleep, since we can't move him once he is asleep.  Another thing is getting him used to his room, as he's hardly slept in there at all.  I can see how Pantley's step-by-step instructions will help us address the issue of him being moved and see success at the end of the tunnel.

Pantley's approach is very gentle and flexible.  She suggests completing each step for 2-7 nights, or until everyone is comfortable and ready to move onto the next step. (These steps would be similar if moving baby to a mattress on the floor and eventually into their own bed in their room).

Step 1 - Remove front railing from crib and place right alongside co-sleeping bed.  Night nurse as usual with baby on his own crib mattress and mommy on co-sleeping bed.  Therefore, nothing is really changing expect that baby is getting used to a different mattress, a little more space between mommy and baby, sounds the crib might make and being surrounded by crib railings (3 sides - likely doesn't feel as 'cagey' for baby).

Step 2 - Replace front railing on crib but keep the crib right up close to mommy's bed so baby can still see, hear, touch mommy.

Step 3 - Move mommy's bed away from the crib, but baby can still see and hear mommy.

Step 4 - Move crib to baby's room.

My brain started reeling...how can I adapt this to my little Mister and make it work for us?

• We want him comfortable in his own room, so why not do all of this in his room, then he's used to it by the time I move out?  So we'll change the suggested setting and move my bed into his room. 
• Because moving him when he is asleep has been an issue all along, he needs to get used to being moved and then finish falling asleep on his own.  So, I'll nurse him in my bed and then move him to the crib right after, when he is still not all the way asleep. 
• Once the crib railing is back on, it will be impossible for me to put him down onto the mattress asleep (I also have a bad back), he will have to go in more awake.  So we'll add an additional step between 1 and 2 and place one of our bed railings between the crib and bed, so I have to lift him over it after each nursing, so he'll get used to being picked up and moved and having to fall asleep alone with a barrier between us.

I've got to talk to my hubby about all this...I think this will work...and possibly without any crying!!!  I'm thrilled!

Pantley Pull Off (PPO) - to wean babies from dependent suckling

Pantley detailed my son to a tee when she discusses a baby who requires the action of suckling to fall asleep.  His dependence on the breast to fall asleep and stay asleep was going to have to change if we wanted him to go to sleep on his own.  If I pulled away while Mister was still not fully asleep, he would just root around until he found the breast again...or wake up trying.  The thing that struck me is Pantley's gentle and flexible approach.  She advises that if you do a PPO and baby roots, go ahead and give him back the breast right away (don't let him wake fully in his hunt).  Count to 10 or so and try another PPO.  Repeat this process until baby is content when you pull away.  I wondered if I'd get anywhere with this, but I needed to try so I began to implement Pantley's Gentle Removal Plan (a.k.a. Pantley Pull Off - PPO) that night.   

It took five or six PPOs before Mister gave up the breast the first time I tried the technique.  During the first night, this reduced to three or four PPOs each nursing.  Within a matter of nights we were down to one or two PPOs and he would no longer root, just roll over and settle on his own.  So, after months and months of dependency on suckling to fall asleep, he is learning to put himself to sleep without it! WOW!  Awesome technique!  This is going to help us out immensely when we start transitioning him to sleep on his own.

How to Transition from Co-sleeping to Independent Sleeping???

That is the question we have been mulling over for weeks.

We refuse to let our sensitive, lovable Mister be a victim of the heartless Cry-It-Out method.  So, since that's what most people, professionals and books advise...we've been having to really stand firm to our beliefs that it's the wrong method for our family and search for something we can feel positive about.

I have done lots of my own thinking on the matter.  I have discussed the matter with a couple of friends and family members.  I've spoken with our lactation consultant.  I've read what Dr. William Sears (one of our trusted sources of information since before Mister was born) has to say about the matter.  Although he says to make the transition slowly and offers options of a mattress on the floor at the foot of my bed, he really doesn't provide step-by-step instructions.  My brain needs to see how the process will breakdown into steps my family can see as positive and possible for all of us.

At this point, I was beginning to accept that there was NO way we would get Mister sleeping in his crib without some crying.  Dr. Sears says that a baby crying in the arms of a loving parent is NOT the same as being left alone to CIO.  So, I was preparing myself for long nights of cuddling, cradling and standing by his crib-side for as long as it took for him to fall asleep, to comfort him with voice, touch and presence while he inevitably cried, looking up at me from inside his 'cage' (that's how he'd be feeling about it). 

Today I went to Chapters see see what I could find in their baby book section.  I came across a handful of 'help baby sleep' books.  Some where immediately identifiable as CIO preachers, so I returned those to the shelf.  I found The Sleepeasy Solution and another one I can't remember the title of.  Suddenly my eyes happened upon The No-Cry Sleep Solution, and on the back cover I thrillingly noticed it was endorsed by Dr. William Sears.  I grabbed these three books and found a spot to sit and skim through them.  The Sleepeasy Solution had my attention for a while, (I believe a friend of ours had success with this method) seemingly laying out a pattern of going in to comfort baby at longer and longer intervals until he falls asleep...since I felt I was facing some crying anyway, maybe this could work?  But the more I read, the 'strictness' and rigidity of it became apparent and the more I felt in my gut/heart that this was the CIO method in sheep's clothing and definitely not for us.  I put the book back.

Could there really be a No-Cry Sleep Solution out there, as the book proclaimed?  I skimmed through it, noting that the author herself (Elizabeth Pantley) co-slept with all four of her own kids.  Cool, maybe I was onto something.  She talks about her own love of breastfeeding and co-sleeping in a manner that totally warmed my heart, as she described exactly how I felt about the experience.  At last I felt like I had found an author who understood me, my family and the connection we have with our son and that we didn't want to risk losing that connection as we transition him from co-sleeping to independent sleeping.  Naturally, I bought the book.

Thrush...again!

My left breast has been sore; I think I had a blocked duct on Monday, and my nipple's gotten sore so I finally went to the walk-in clinic today and was diagnosed with thrush...again!  (pretty sure this is bout 5 or 6).

Once again I am on Fluconazole, 400mg loading dose with up to 28 days of 100mg twice a day; until pain free for a week. (Ref. Dr. Jack Newman).  I am also using the All Purpose Nipple Ointment after each nursing and taking Grapefruit Seed Extract (1 capsule three times a day) and probiotics (10 billion cells three times a day).   For the first few days I will even treat my nipples with Gentian Violet in the morning (while Mister is at daycare all day) and simply wipe it off before nursing (he is lucky enough not to get thrush this time).

After speaking with our Lactation Consultant, I will stop all Domperidone, blessed thistle and fenugreek seed.  Blocked duct earlier in the week is probably due to too much milk and Mister not taking it all from me.