Just Call Us..."Home Owners!"

That's right...we bought a house! Matthew and I have been house shopping for about 2 months now, out with our agent almost every weekend viewing houses. Within the first few weeks we found one we fell in love with, only to have it bought before we could even think about making an offer. As time went on, we got tired of seeing more and more junk out there on the market, with hefty price tags attached. We really were praying for a home of our own, hoping it would happen before our wedding too. I was calm about the whole thing, hopeful and trusting that God knew the right thing for us; and if that meant staying in my apartment under mom's house, then God would give us the patience required to make that arrangement work. But I know God is a God who loves to give His children the desires of their hearts, and we so wanted a home of our own. So we were waiting on God...

I think it was Dec 19th when we saw the listing online. We contacted our agent to make a viewing appointment for Sat Dec 22, along with a few other listings. This one didnt look too outstanding on paper, but it was nice, and in our price range and in an area of town we didnt mind considering. So, we waited...

Dec 22, Matthew, mom, George and I all met up with our agent to see some houses. This was the last one of the day: Stanley St. We walked thru, taking time to look around, really look around. It was a small house, but so clean and so well kept! It seemed like no one was really living in it, but there was some furniture and stuff around. Nice lot, nice backyard, and the inside was in great condition...basically move-in condition with old hardwood floors everywhere, except for tile in the kitchen and bathroom. I knew then that this little place would sell FAST. We left with mixed feelings, knowing it would not stay on the market for long, but knowing there were a few things we didnt like about it...just layout issues and the lack of a bathroom on the second floor. We went home and prayed about it that afternoon.

We talked with our parents, talked together and just felt like this was the right thing to do. We called our agent that evening to put in an offer. He said it could wait until the next afternoon to do the paperwork and it would be presented to the owner on Monday morning. So, Dec 23, Matthew's birthday, we put an offer on Stanley St., conditional on a house inspection, of course. Dec 24 Matthew came over to my place and we waited by the phone...

The phone rang...it was the agent. Matthew talked to him, with mom and I close by, staring at him for a sign of what was being said on the phone. Ok, Ok, yes, Ok...we had no clue...but it sounded positive...LOL! He hung up and confirmed our offer was accepted! YAHOO!!! So we had until Friday to find an inspector. We had to go see the agent to sing some more papers, and when we got there he had set up a temporary appointment with an inspector for us and gave us the name of an electrician he knows. (There is some electrical work that needs upgrading). I was amazed it took us less than 20 minutes to make such a huge and monumental purchase! Later in the day Matthew talked to the inspector and booked him for Friday morning. So, we waited some more...

Friday morning, Dec 28, we met at the house and were there for about 2 hours with the inspector. He was really great about going thru things with Matthew and George. Mom and I walked around looking more at layout and potential arrangements and stuff. Matthew's mom and sister (Jen) showed up to see the place too, so Jen and I were running around taking pics of the house from every angle in every room! The longer I was in there the more excited I got about envisioning us living there! Our house, our first house!!! The women ended up sitting in the living room while the men finished up the inspection in the basement...we were eavesdropping...and heard the inspector say he was rather impressed with the construction and condition of the house considering its age (about 50+yrs). He had pointed out things we already knew, like the electrical, but nothing major. So we all left the house, and Matthew and I headed to the agent's to see if he was around. He was there, so we went in to waive our condition of the inspection and finalize the sale.

On Jan 11, 2008, Matthew and I will take possession of the new house! I pray that together, with God and family and friends, this house will quickly turn into our HOME.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow..."

Happy Birthday, Matthew!!!

It's my man's birthday today!

(I can't hide how stressed I get about finding the right gift for someone...but besides that, I do love to celebrate birthdays).

Not only is today his birthday, but he and I are about to take a very large step forward in life today. We are making an offer on a house today!!! Imagine that! It won't be presented today, but on Monday...just think, if our offer is accepted, it'll be one heck of a birthday/Christmas present!!! Please pray for us; that if this is the right house, God will help us formulate a fair offer that cannot be refused, but also that if this is not the right house, that God will close the door on it somehow.

Matthew, I wish you all the best on this, your birthday. I am honoured to be the woman you've chosen to stand by your side, today and forever. I love you. I can't wait to see you today, to hug you tight and wish you Happy Birthday.

God Bless you, Matthew

i love you, i love you, i love you

Lesley-Anne

1st Term Complete! & Christmas is Coming!!!

Yup, it's true...school's done for the term! All my courses run for half a year, so I wrote all my final exams in the first two weeks of December and since the 14th I have been enjoying some well deserved time off. It's been great to chill (freeze while shoveling), layback (stiff and sore from shoveling) and relax (knock myself out on pain killers)...LOL! Seriously, there's been so much snow, and shoveling just kills my body.

I've also gotten to spend loads of time with Matthew, which is wonderful. We are pretty much done our Christmas shopping which is a good feeling...now I just have to finish the wrapping! Matthew has to work tomorrow and then he is off for two weeks too, so we'll be spending our holidays together, of course, making appearances at family's and friend's houses...I haven't met many of his family members at all, just immediate family, so our Boxing Day will be spent house hoping around town to meet his aunts, uncles and cousins. We'll have Christmas day dinner at his parents place and then another Christmas dinner at my mom's on the 28th for which my aunt and cousins are coming from TO...I don't remember anything in the Bible's Christmas story about so much FOOD!!! I have a wedding dress to fit into a month and a half after the holidays! YIKES!

That's right, our wedding is getting closer...58 sleeps today! LOL! Ya, I'm still counting. Seems like our weekends are full of house hunting and our weekdays are full of discussion about what we saw on the weekend...so much to consider...so much money! We just want a home of our own! I'm trusting that God has a place for us, somewhere, somehow, He'll provide.

God Bless Everyone!

Merry Christmas

Joyeux Noel

worry often outweighs excitement

i've been contemplating...

my brain's been processing at high speeds...

I can hardly concentrate on the day at hand, let alone tomorrow...

it's true, isn't it, that worry often outweighs excitement...

We are less than three months away from our wedding.

There is so much to do still...

I find myself going into final exams a tad unprepared.

How is my brain supposed to take this all in?

School: learning new information, understanding it, applying it?

Wedding preparations, let alone marriage preparations?

The hunt for a house we can turn into our home?

And the bottom line...money money money.

The last few days I have been thinking of the scripture

that talks about God clothing the lilies of the field,

and how much more He will provide for us.

I don't pray enough, lately I've been missing God's presence.

I know it's me that's too busy; He's always there waiting for me.

This morning I finally looked up the scripture

that's been fluttering around in my head.

Matthew 6:28

"And why do you worry about clothes?

See how the liles of the field grow.

They do not labour or spin.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon

in all his spendor was dressed like one of these.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,

which is here today and tomorrow will be thrown into the fire,

will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So, do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or

What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

...your heavenly Father knows that you need [these things].

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow..."

Father God, help me to grow closer to You in this busy time of my life, the time I need You the most, help me to want to grow closer to You, to learn more about You and the trust You with all the details; to lay my worries at Your feet, and get through this day, this gift of another day, focused on You. I love You, Lord...

Help me to live that love out loud!!!

And to feel the excitement of this special time in our lives!

Invitations Are In The Mail

At Last!!!

Our wedding invitations are off! (well, at lunchtime, Matthew will bring them to the post office). But, today is the day they are out and on their way. We thought we would get them all printed, packaged and ready to mail out last Friday night. It ended up taking us the weekend and last night to get the ones that require mailing ready to go. We still need to write up directions to the church to go into the invites for the ceremony. Crazy how much work is involved in such a seemingly simple task. But we stuck it out, did it all together, and the end product is rather nice, (imho).

I think this will be it for wedding plans for a few weeks...I am heading into final exams starting next week until the 13th of December, so I need to focus on school.

We contacted another mortgage broker and got another quote. We now have a real estate agent keeping his eye out for houses for us. Please pray that we find something: before our wedding, in our price range, in an area we are comfortable with, and a place we can make into our first HOME.

Things Keep Falling Into Place

Days go by and more things keep getting accomplished!

SCHOOL:

Midterms are all back and I did really well. I can't believe that this term's finals start in less than three weeks!!! Pray for me to handle the heavy workload of final projects and studying for finals.

WEDDING:

So far, Matthew and I have spent tons of time on wedding plans, which is to be expected; but the surprising thing for me is that it seems so simple. We keep coming up with more to do, and each decision we make is one thing done. LOL...does this make any sense?

I guess there were so many people thinking we wouldn't have time to pull together a wedding in 4.5 mths, that I expected a little more trouble with the whole thing. I am NOT complaining at the ease with which it is coming together!!! I am thrilled and really enjoying the planning process.

So far, we have the church and minister, the reception hall, our great friends standing for us, a dear friend making our wedding cake, another good friend singing a solo in the ceremony, another good friend is going to be our photographer, and so on. The invitation list is about complete, with invitations ready to go out probably later this week or coming weekend. Almost all the decorations are purchased. Wedding bands have been selected. And best of all, we have been working on all aspects together, it's wonderful.

HOUSE HUNT:

That's right, we're starting to look for a house. We just got in touch with an agent and with some reservation and some excitement we're about to enter the world of real estate! Pray that God's got a house picked out for us to turn into our first home together.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I understand there is still TONS to do...I'm no fool. But what a great time in our relationship to enjoy together and store up memories!!!

I love you, Matthew

113 more sleeps...

That's right, I just counted...113 more sleeps alone! Then, I'm getting married and Matthew and I will be able to snuggle up together at night.

Things are coming together so smoothly, there is no doubt God's hand is in this all the way! February 16th will be our big day! We've got the church and pastor booked for the ceremony. We've got friends in agreement to stand with us. We just booked a hall yesterday! I honestly spent about 3 hours on the phone the day before calling around, many places were booked that date, or too small for our reception. I went to see one place that day and we booked it within 24 hrs! It's a beautiful room, a good central location and the price is right! God is so good! So now we can get working on invitations and thinking about decorations and such. We also had a meeting with Jeremy this week that got us thinking about how we might personalize our ceremony. There are so many little details to think about, it's crazy! But I am totally having fun with the planning stage. Yesterday, Matthew and I talked about colour scheme/wedding theme. We're pretty sure we have settled on that stuff too! It's so exciting to think of being surrounded by family and friends on our most special day! Most of all, I can't wait to meet Matthew and God at the church, to unite our lives, hearts, minds and souls into one. (bodies is later that night...hehe!)

Oh Matthew, I love you so very much. I can't wait to be your wife, to share my everyday life with you. You are an angel God's brought my way; I am so blessed! Our dream is becoming a reality! Sleep well my love, for there are only 113 more sleeps before I am there by your side.

I'm Engaged!!!

Sometimes it still seems surreal! It's been two weeks since the big day...here's my 'girly' side of the story:

Friday night, Sept. 28th, was a junior high youth group Lock-In at our church. Matthew and I are youth group leaders, so on this night, it meant running some games, hanging out with the kids and staying up late watching movies and playing vidoe games.

Before heading to the church, we grabbed a bite to eat...I was getting anxious and Matthew could tell. I told him I was scared...being the first Lock-In where I was the only female leader...what if I wasn't cool enough for the kids? What if they wished someone more fun was there, and not just me? Matthew was so kind and caringly reminded me of how the kids run to greet me and give me hugs whenever they see me. That God put me in this position, and that I shouldn't worry about what I was considering as "cool enough" for the kids. His reminder helped, but I was quiet on the way to the church... Once there, the kids surrounded us, hugs all around, and talking like wild fire...suddenly I found myself standing in a group, surrounded by teens, all wanting me to listen to their tales of the week...Matthew was just down the hall, smiling at me...my anxieties about the night were gone.

I think I got about 3-4 hours of sleep all together, and I think he got about that too. The morning was taken up by some kids sleeping in, a delicious pancake breakfast (cooked by my man, of course!), and cleanup time! Parents started showing up just before noon to collect their exhausted teens. I think it was between 12-12:30 when Matthew approached me, tired and ready to leave. I was so thankful. I love the kids, and Lock-Ins are a blast, but getting away from all the noise is just as sweet!

On the way home, we talked about the shopping I wanted to do; I needed an extention cord for some aquarium equipement, and I had seen special pillows on sale too. LOL. I don't shop shop, like women are known to, I actually hate shopping malls. So I just wanted a quick stop at Canadian Tire, after we got to relax a bit. Matthew suggested getting flyers from mom, so when we got home we went upstairs to see mom and take a look at the flyers she had. All I wanted to do was escape to my place, so we could just relax in peace and quiet. Mom kept us talking a while, but we finally got downstairs.

In the middle of my livingroom, we hugged...just stood there hugging, leaning on each other for support I think, we were both so tired. I pulled back to look at him, and thanked him for the encouragement the night before, when I was so anxious. We were just standing there, smiling at each other, and I got a vision, of us, exactly like that, looking at each other with these same looks of love and support, at the front of the church, on our wedding day. I knew in that moment that these were the eyes I would be staring into when I promised to stand by a man as his wife. Then, Matthew was gone.

He'd just been right infront of me...then gone, and I looked down to see him on one knee. My first thought was 'what's he doing down there' instantly followed by 'oh my goodness, it's happening, he's doing it'. Then he asked me to marry him. My mind was racing...just so excitedly caught off guard that this was the moment; he was proposing! I bent over to kiss him. He pulled a ring box out of his pocket. I saw a flash of blue and white as he stood up, telling me he wanted me to be his wife. I said yes (of course), then hugged him so tight...we hugged a while, kissed and pulled back for him to slip the ring on my finger. White gold with little diamonds embedded in the band on either side of a raised sapphire. Stunningly elegant, so beautiful...and he'd picked it out all by himself. He did good! And catching me so completely off guard with the proposal at that time of sheer exhaustion; he did exactly what he'd set out to do.

Mom came downstairs, talking on the way, no idea of what had just happened. She asked a question; still in shock I mumbled an answer and she turned to walk away. I called her back and held out my hand. Asking if it meant what she thought, we smiled and came together in a big group hug. Then they proceeded to inform me that now we had to take some time to call people. What? I had no idea there was an Engagement Protocall? Matthew said he was told to make sure he proposed at a time when there would be time afterwards for me to call family and friends; well, him too. So in our joy and excitement, the calling started...and lasted a while. (I think it took us about 2.5 days to reach everyone we knew we wanted to make sure found out from us.) We finally got away from the phone to celebrate our engagement by going out for dinner, just the two of us, to The Keg.

The next day was Sunday, a very active morning, where we were told our smiles were giving away our announcement before we could tell people. It was a great morning of tracking down friends to share our news. Having been warned that people may react funny to the untraditional engagement ring; everyone was amazed by it, asking if Matthew had designed it himself. I think by the time we left church, he had gotten enough reassurance from me and others that the ring was stunning. Surprisingly, people kept asking when the big day was! We hadn't even been engaged for 24hrs! LOL!

It's been two weeks now. We're engaged!!! Sometimes I still can't believe it's true. I am so blessed to have the love of this man. We are so excited about our future together. And now, we have started talking about what kind of wedding we want and stuff. We are currently waiting to hear back from the church on its availability. Let's get the party started!

ps. Matthew, I love you I love you I love you.

I will treasure these memories forever!

She's Good To Go

Hey All,
Thanks for prayers and well wishes! Paige had a rough weekend, but she is all better! Friday night she was still throwing up all night, and not interested in water. By early Saturday afternoon we were worried about dehydration, so we called the Vet back. Paige was to be hospitalized and put on IV fluids. So we met the Vet at the clinic and left Paige with her. Paige was there over night and for most of Sunday. At dinner time we got to go pick her up. She was so much more alert and with-it. It was great to see. The Vet said she hadn't eaten yet, but was likely to eat at home where she felt more at ease. She was right, Paige came home and devoured some food! (not lots, just a bit).
Today she finishes her antibiotics for the bacterial infection that was found. We are not going to complete her worm treatment right now, as the Vet wants her stable and well first. Our Vet has agreed that Paige could just be the 1 dog in a million that is allergic to that particular worm-med! I am so glad he won't give her that stuff again, incase it was the cause of all that agony for Paige. Poor Gal!
So, once again, all is well in PuppyPalace. Paige can't wait to visit her friends at the Jarrett Center on Monday, as she missed out last Monday. Everyone is so glad she has recovered so well!
We Love You, Paige!

My Little Girl...

WARNING: If you don't like dogs or have never owned one,
this post may seem 'over the top'!

INTRODUCING MY BABY GIRL:

She is stunningly pretty, a blue merle tri Miniature Australian Shepherd. She goes by the name 'Paige'. She has numerous nicknames she answers to as well: Squid, Paigey Girl, Wiggy-worm, etc. She was a gift from God in a time when I needed some company. I met her when she was only six weeks old, and brough her home at 8 wks old.

1) Five wks following mom 2) Eight weeks

3) Coming home! 4) Nine wks playing with Jazz

She's three now. She has brought so much joy to my life, my mom, my friends, and countless others in her St John Ambulance Therapy Dog visitations at the Walford Residence and the Jarrett Centre. She's got it all: looks, intelligence and a heart of gold! I can't imagine life without her!

1) Playing in the Bow River, Banff AB
2) Kicking Mule Ranch, Manitoulin Island
3) Fetching in the backyard
4) Visiting at the Jarrett Center


So, why this shrine-post of my dog?
Well, cause she's really sick right now...
She is weak, throwing up regularly, pooping blood, not eating, not drinking...just down right sick.

We spent a couple hours at the vet clinic last night doing blood work and stuff. The vet didn't like what she saw in the results of the blood work. Paige showed low Calcium levels. The vet was so worried that she took more blood and redid the test to be sure. Again, low Ca. The vet was still concerned enough to draw blood from her own dog and run the test, just incase the machine was malfunctioning. Her dog's Ca levels were normal. Apparently, a low Ca level is an indication of some rare disease that brings on sudden mild, but lengthy seizures which are more commonly fatal. This really scared me, because while aquiring her little brother, Jackson, I did some research on their father (they have different moms, but the same dad). Some dogs in his pedigree apparently have a history of seizures. Ya...not good....

The blood work also showed a bacterial infection, so she is on antibiotics for that. It's so hard, in her pathetic state to have to shove pills down her throat...I hope she forgives me later! The vet froze some of her blood to ship to a Lab down south on Monday where they can actually test for this rare disease. Until then, we can't leave her side, incase of seizure onset, and we have to force water down her throat too, as she is very dehydrated.

Please pray for Paige, my Mom, Matthew and myself as we navigate thru this time.

We all love this little gal and don't know what we would do without her!

LAS

The Great Outdoors

Since we ended up having a pretty clear schedule on Saturday, Matthew decided to sleep in. I woke up early and got a few things done around my place while I waited for him to call. When he called, I was going to do some cleaning for my mom upstairs and he needed to get guitar stings asap since he was scheduled to play at church Sunday. So he went to get strings and got his guitar ready while I cleaned up and was surprised by a call from a dear friend. She and I chatted for quite some time, so when Matthew showed up, I wasn't quite done cleaning.
ANYWAY...
I was so happy when Matthew asked for sunscreen!!! We had talked about going for a walk with my dogs...I was so excited that it was really happening! We slopped on the sunscreen, packed up snacks and water for all and rounded up the pups in the car. And we were off!
At LU, the parking lot was crazy! But it is the only access I know to the LU conservation area, so we found parking at last and made our way up the trail. We quickly ventured cross country to avoid other people and dogs so that Paige and Jackson could be free of leashes and run around. They had so much fun!!! The first part of our trek was mostly rock tops. It was fun to watch them run up and down, as if they knew they were more agile then Matthew and I. From one of the highest points we saw LU Lake to the West and decided to make that our destination. As we headed down, we found a rugged bike path and followed that most of the way. Aside from hearing a group of people thru the trees at one point, we were basically on our own, and free from encountering other dogs. (My dogs LOVE to play with other dogs, I just didn't want them to startle anyone by running up to them full speed thru the bush). We made it to lakeside and when we couldn't find the spot I had in mind for snack break, Matthew found a nice patch of moss beside the water and the dogs crashed under a tree for shade. We snacked, talked and fed the dogs too. Everyone had lots of water! Jackson was in heaven with all the sticks lying around just waiting to be chewed!
We trekked south along the lakeshore, and Matthew mentioned that this hike was a great substitute for the camping we missed out on. He was totally right! It was so great to be outside, in the great outdoors, and best of all, the dogs were with us! I finally figured out where the rock cut was I had been looking for, so we headed there and Paige suddenly got a burst of energy and started 'blasting' around us in speedy circles with Jackson hot on her tail. I can't discribe the joy I feel when I watch them play like that! I was happy to have Matthew witness their crazy antics. We got to the water's edge and Jackson wadded in first...Paige followed shortly. Neither would swim, but we started tossing in some sticks, just off shore and they both fetched for a while...with Paige running into the bushes to roll on the ground after coming out of the water! She's so silly! Once we left the shoreline, the dogs were spunky from the water-play, so they were running thru the bushes more then before...it was so fun to see them having fun...to see them free to be dogs!
We headed south, still following a bit of a trail...it veered North, and brought us up and over the rocks and finally right into the parking lot at LU. What a wonderful way to spend the early afternoon!!! We all piled in the car, tired and happy, and headed home.
The rest of the day was lazy, and totally well deserved too! Matthew and I curled up to watch the first four episodes of LOST season 1. I have never watched this show, so it is totally new and I am HOOKED! We had supper while we watched and just had a lazy evening together.
What a day, definately one to remember!
Thank you for sharing in this experience with me, Matthew!

Campin' was a No-Go

Awe Man!
Camping was cancelled! Total Bummer!
One of the youth changed their mind at the last minute and the other one backed out then, not wanting to be the only 'kid'. We thought of going, just the four leaders, but in our upset state, decided not to. Within a few hours we made other plans for the evening.
We enjoyed dinner out at East Side Marios followed by meeting one of the youth at Silvercity and watching Mr Bean's Holiday. It was rather funny! At dinner, we all wished we'd gone camping anyway...oh well, live and learn. At least we got to hang out with one of the youth that night, so that's awesome.
The next day, Matthew returned his new sleeping bag. awe!
Next year, we need to plan this better and maybe even a different time of the summer, so we can get way more kids to come camping!

Goin' Camping!

Hey!
I'm just about packed and ready to head out to Fairbank campground. There's four youth leaders taking two senior high youth camping for the night. This might sound like an odd ratio, but last year's youth camping trip had three leaders and NO youth! So things are really looking up this year! hehe!

The last couple days have been filled with talk and prep for the trip. Who knew an overnight trip could be so crazy to plan and organize. Steve had the spots reserved early in the month, so that's great...but Matthew and I have been shopping for sleeping pads and he needed a sleeping bag...(he found a really cool one that's got two bags in one). We've unrolled and rolled our beds out a few times to get them used to sucking in air and expand to their full capacity...it will be nice to actually unroll them and get to use them!

I've just finished packing up all kinds of snacks and drinks and stuff I've had lying around here a bit...and after our stop at the Bulk Barn last night, we won't be lacking in the snack department! I hope Steve and Leah buy some 'real' food! All I know is that we are in for a pancake breakfast in the morning...the rest of the meals are a surprise. Hotdogs on the campfire tonight would be fun, and then I can show 'em how to make REAL hot DOGS. lol!

Well, I better get everything into the car. Mom and I are heading to Matthew's place for lunch with his parents before we leave them to chat without us around and we head up to the church to meet up with Steve and Leah and the youth, Dylan and Laura. (It's a little weird to know our moms are starting to chat on the phone together and plan luncheons). But it's totally awesome too...they are alot alike and will be fast friends we are sure!

Matthew, less then one hour before you are free from work and I'll see you at your place!
Here's hoping we have a fabulously fun and safe weekend!

Waiting On God?

My mind is full...ya, even more than usual. Life is full, with summer over, organizing my fall schedule takes over; planning and waiting for things to start. The coming busyness scares me. Yet I can't wait to settle into a routine. School starts in eight days; is that good or bad? Will I have a car to get myself to school? Too many thoughts running way too fast to type...

Once again Matthew and I had a serious conversation yesterday, centered around the progression of our relationship. I'm frustrated, and he is waiting. He doesn't know what he's waiting for. This frustrates us both. He is waiting on God. Who am I waiting on? I've been waiting on Matthew. This is so wrong; I need to change my focus, but how?

This summer, I read the first book of the New Testament, the book of Matthew. (haha...not on purpose, just starting my own journey through the NT). I was actually surprised by how many of the tales I was familiar with, but I wanted to read it because I had never read through it myself. The end of the book was surprising, I didn't realize how much Jesus focused on preaching about his second coming, and how that should be our primary focus, our deepest desire in life; to reunite with Him.

Lately, my deepest desire is to be close to Matthew. To share every possible moment we can. Have I put God on the backburner? I know we focus on keeping God as the "glue" in our relationship; we pray together daily. There is no doubt that we both want and need God in the center of our relationship. What have I personally done to bring God closer to us? I don't know. Am I letting us down? Am I letting Matthew down? Most importantly, am I letting God down?

Am I setting a good, godly example for others? What would others say if they knew my heart? Here I am about to take on leadership of the Jr High Bible Study...am I ready for that? I so want to be; I feel like it's something God is asking me to try. Is it possible to never disappoint God? Do I really understand that nothing I do will make Him love me more, or make Him love me less? That is an amazing promise!!! ...Is it something that can be easily manipulated?, or taken advantage of? How have I honoured God lately?

The desire to share my life with someone (Matthew...hehe), the need for a companion, a soulmate, a life partner, is so strong...shouldn't I desire God's closeness a whole lot more??? Shouldn't I be ready and waiting for Christ's return, and not longing that I get to experience marriage and motherhood first? How do I alter my heart's desires, if I should?

How do I remove the pressure I place on Matthew; and place my trust in God? I am confident in our future together, and for that I am so greatful. God has surpassed both of our wildest dreams in the partner He's brought us. Will God not do the same throughout our relationship; in His perfect timing, surprise us beyong our wildest hopes?!?! What an amazing God we have...a Father who delights in giving us the things we desire.

God, please help my heart refocus and delight in You! Help me be patient in waiting to join my life with Matthew. Help me to want the things you have set aside for me on this day and each day that follows. Help me to bring my impatience to You, and not pressure those around me.
I love you, God...and want to show you my love through my words and my actions. Help me to do that. Help me to wait on You.
Amen

Haven't Forgotten

It's been soooooooooooo long since I updated my blog; I know, I know! I haven't forgotten about it, I've just been busy, and had very limited internet access this summer.
I'm back home now, and plan to update my blog with happenings from my summer.
Stay Tuned...

Your Love Is Amazing!

God is so Awesome! His love is Amazing!

Another late night...but tis the end of a good day!
The last seven days have been so emotional, so trying; and yet so full of blessings. Saturday morning was scary...waiting was the hardest part, let alone not knowing what I was waiting for. Matthew called and wanted to come see me. Would the result of his visit be good or bad?

God will not to give us more than we can handle.

Matthew shared his heart, I listened. I spoke from mine while he listened. Matthew shared more, I kept listening. We both knew running would be easy, but futile. Sharing our truths was what God had intented, what God wanted to see us do. We prayed together; for safe passage through this storm, in confidence that with Christ in our boat we cannot sink.

Christ said that all those who are tired and burdened

should go to Him and He would give them rest.

We decide to leave the past behind. With hope and love, we reach towards the future, our future. We jump into the day's activities together, looking forward to every moment we can share before I leave town with work on Tuesday.

Be anxious about nothing.

Pray persistantly (with happiness) to God,

and He will answer, granting unimaginable peace.

~ ~ ~

Matthew, it is a blessing to worship with you at church. Thank you for joining me at Bobbi's Canada Day party, and for welcoming my mom to dinner with your family. OH...and thanks for sharing your time with your nephew...he's cute, and I love every moment I get to be in his company. Matthew, your love is amazing, too! I am blessed beyond belief by the love you show me. Thank you for joining with me in allowing God to Captian our boat and sail us right on through the storms life brings...so that we can enjoy the peaceful rest He provides on the other side. I know life will be full of storms...but I believe we've got the best Captian, and that we make a pretty amazing crew-of-two!

ps...I love you!

Broken & Spilt Out

This is about the hardest waiting period I have ever endured. I feel like I am on trial, waiting for the jury to return with my fate. Yesterday Matthew and I faced some truths which had remained omitted/hidden/avoided.

It is never easy to be broken before someone you respect, look up to and/or want to impress. It is so hard to face them with your broken past, your life's truths spilt out around you; exposed. I have never felt so naked, so vulnerable.

Now I wait.

This makes me think of my God, my Saviour. He loved me enough to allow his body to be broken and his blood to be spilt out so that I might return to my heavenly Father one day. This sacrifice goes beyond anything a human could/would do for another, yet that's not the amazing part. The most miraculous point is that Christ did it without any guarentee that I would accept his sacrifice. He exposed himself, willingly, freely; in hope, and out of love...with prayers that one day, I would realize the truth of how he suffered. That he did it for me so that I coule come Home to Him.

Christ knows better then any of us what it means to suffer, and hurt, and feel hurt by others. Wow...my God LOVES me. In this moment; today, tomorrow and forever; He's the ROCK on which I will stand!

Answers

Ya, it's late. I know, I should be in bed. I just wanted to type out some of my recent thoughts about Answers.

Answers are the basis of educational grading...correct answers grant you the right of passage, while the wrong answers (or no answers) is grounds for failure; detainment.
Answers are a means of discovering...a way of finding out information.
Answers are a trigger for some to take flight; they're frightening...providing an answer is risking personal exposure.

Answers are too frequently missed;

the questions drift outside of memory.

Do you pray? (If you don't, you should). If you do, you ask God for things. Do you get answers? Do you know the answers before you pose the questions? I bet you know the answers you'd like! Do you remember every question you have ever posed to God? Have you received answers to all of them? Some of them? Any? How about writing questions down, so the answers can be recognised when they come???

In the last year, my family fell apart. Sure, it's something that began to unravel long ago, but the year saw the final cut. My brother was lost to the family, and with him we lost his wife and kids. My father walked away from my mother. And I couldn't help but feel like he walked away from me too. I now know that he left his wife, not his daughter; for man has found a way to erase the covenent of marriage, but cannot reclaim his genes.
In the last year, I returned Home; into a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I came from so far away, I wish I didn't recall. But then, I wouldn't have a testimony of just how awesome my God is.

I prayed for some form of restoration in my family.
The seperation went through.

I prayed for restoration in my family.
The divorce papers were filed.

I kept praying...

I prayed for guidance in my fallen relationship with my father.
We visited last week!

I prayed for my broken family; my brother and his family.
We saw him and his wife at Easter!
...And tomorrow, my mom will get to visit them and the grandchildren!!!

PRAISE GOD FOR

ANSWERS!!!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

this week has been rather gloomy. it matches my mood. i guess you could say that i had a very high High this week, as well as a very low Low. the High obviously being progressive discussions with Matthew about where our relationship is at and where we hope it's headed. the Low being a rather cold email from my dad, basically telling me to have a nice life, as he leaves the country in 23 days. yup, he's moving to the czech republic. he'll be back here to teach four months a year, but that's it. and sadly, he doesn't even want to keep in touch with me via email. how weird is that? how do I deal with that? what is a daughter to do when her own father doesn't work to hold on to her friendship? oh, apparently, if the timing is not right (for his schedule) he has stated he will not return to canada for my wedding, (whenever that is); that comment was in his email too. is there anything i could do to mend our relationship? does he want a new life so badly that he is willing to write us all out? i pray he is doing what will make him happy. but i also pray that when i celebrate my 50th, i'm surrounded by family and friends.

tomorrow is the final ANC youth group event of the year. The Amazing Race!!!! pastor steve has put so much effort into organizing this event, and we all just spent the evening completing the final touches. i hope and pray that everyone has fun and stays safe tomorrow and saturday. i am so excited about this event, but you wouldn't know it from my behaviour tonight. i feel bad about my actions tonight...i wasn't in the best of moods, obviously, and it showed. now i feel like i let my friends down by not being the happy me they know and love. so the secret is out, i can be a great complainer when the mood strikes me. do you know how hard it is to keep smiling when it's the last thing you feel like doing? sometimes, i guess my sadness leaks out as complaints. perhaps a good cry would be a better option? does anyone understand how new events and situations stress me out beyond belief? am i the only one that feels like this? any tips on how to handle it?

tomorrow is friday, end of the work week...oh yeah, i got a breakfast date tomorrow with my best friend, sarne. there are things i need to share with him too which are worrying me. it will be hard to talk to him about it; but usually the best results aren't products of easy tasks. wish me luck and/or pray for me as i face a few tough situations in the approaching days!

Roadtrip - May Long 2007

Oh, there is much to write about the weekend. I have been too busy to organize my mountain of thoughts into a post. I will start now, but this will be edited over the next day or so.

How on earth can I sum up what it meant to meet some of the greatest people I have ever been blessed to meet!? I will try to just outline the weekend highlights for now...

Friday was a tough day, more of a struggle for Matthew, who had to suffer thru 4 hours of painstaking agony at the office before he would be free to pack, pick me up and leave town. I helped him survive the last 30 minutes by chatting online...hehe.

We stopped for lunch and left town by 1:30 Friday afternoon. Traffic was light, considering, and we arrived at Dana and Andy's in Mississauga around 5:30 I think. Nathan, their 3 yr old son, met us at the door. He was sure happy to see Matthew! For a whole week, he'd been telling everyone that MATTHEEEEEEWWWWWWWW was coming down for his party, where they would eat WADDRMELAN. Little did I know in that first moment of meeting Nathan that this kid with wild curly hair and wonderous eyes would attach himself firmly in my heart.

Andy and Dana were so thrilled to see Matthew...I could see it in their greetings. These three really care for each other. Something rare, and oh so special. They welcomed me into their home like an old friend...it didn't take long to feel like I belonged. We spent the first night with them playing The Question Game. Interestingly enough, the game led Matthew and I into a later discussion we never could have predicted...and one that brought us closer.

Saturday was PARTY day! A lazy morning of playing with Nathan kept him outta the way for Dana and Andy to start party preparations. A shopping trip for last minute party requirements also got Matthew and I into a Christian Bookstore at long last! I could have spend the day in there! We each added to our summer-reading pile that morning! After lunch out with Dana's parents, it was home to prep for the party. Admittingly, I ended up napping thru the afternoon while they worked away. I was later pleasantly surprised by an unexpected question from Matthew, which helped me know we were growing more as a couple. He really is a special man!

Party time was approaching, Matthew and I did some last minute pick ups of chairs and ice and stuff, and once things were laid out, we all sat and chatted...the calm before the storm. Party time arrived, and so did twenty-eight adult guests with eleven little ones in tow. People everywhere...and people I didn't know! Matthew was great, stayed with me and introduced me to people he knew. In reality, everyone was really nice and friendly. Since Matthew and I had selected a bench seat close to the food table, we ended up getting a chance to meet everyone there! LOL! Thanks everyone for making me feel so comfortable! Dana was even sure to do little spot checks on me to make sure I was ok in such a crowd! LOL...she really is a sweetheart! Party night died down, and so did my strength...I needed to get away from the crowd and noise. Matthew came to my rescue with a dueling games of Tetris! Oh that was so sweet! I kicked his butt a few times, but he also returned the favor, so it was really interesting! The party night I had been anxious about ended up being rather wonderful. Who would have guessed!

Sunday brought us to Dana and Andy's church. It reminded me so much of Trinity Bible Church, where I attended out in Canmore. The guy that spoke that morning asked the question, "where were you in life two years ago, and what measures did have God to take to get you sitting in this place on this morning?" WOW! God is AWESOME! Another lunch out and I returned home with Andy and Nathan, while Dana stole Matthew for a trip to the grocery store. It didn't take long for Andy to pop the question...I mean the "What are you intensions with our friend?" question. LOL...we had a great chat all the way home.
Sunday was a lazy day, more napping, and playing with Nathan...we even got him dancing to an album I remember dancing around to when I was not much older then he. I actually remembered most of the words! It was really silly and totally memorable!
Nathan and I taught Matthew how to play UNO. No, wait...Matthew and I taught Nathan how to play...and Matthew took some great pics (will post soon). Then I got Nathan playing memory with the UNO cards...it was pretty fun to just play with him, and by this point in the weekend, he was totally at ease with me. What a darling young guy he is...a heartbreaker in the making!
Sunday night is one of my best memories of the weekend. Andy, Dana, Matt and I sat around the livingroom (well, Andy was upstairs most of the evening trying to get a frightened Nathan to sleep; fireworks outside were scaring him). Dana and I did a lot of talking that night, Matthew was rather quiet, listening I am sure, but sleepy too. Sometime after midnight, Matthew went to bed. At 2am, Andy woke up in the livingroom chair and went to bed. And at 3am, Dana and I finally got the notion to go to bed too. We just talked so much, about so many things, it was a time I will treasure.

Monday morning was sad...I didn't want to leave...and I know it is hard for Matthew, Dana & Andy, to say goodbye. We had fun tho, Andy and Dana pulled out some old pics of their time in Sudbury and showed me pics of Matthew from when he was in University, around the age of 18 yrs old. It was cool to see just how far back their friendship went and how much Matthew meant to them. Friends like that are rare...hold on to each other!!! We went to Dana'd parents place for a BBQ lunch, then headed back to pack and sadly say goodbye.

God bless you, Dana, Andy and Nathan! You each have special hearts and I am thankful and blessed that you willingly shared them with me, as well as opening up your home to me. Matthew, I will be forever greatful that you brought me down to meet your best friends, that you wanted to introduce me to that part of your life. Thank you all for sharing with me and making me feel like I belonged! Memories of this weekend will be with me always!

With Love & Prayers! -las


(Oh ya, Matthew got the pleasure of stopping in to meet my Aunt and Uncle on the way home. It was so wonderful to see them, even if only for a couple hours. And it was extra special to introduce Matthew and them. Thank you for letting Matthew and I invade your home and enjoy a meal with you!!!!) I love you!

As The Bruises Fade...

I survived!

Field School is DONE!!! 12 days in the bush: 1 bottle of sunscreen, 1 can of bug spray, 1 roll of TP, 4 colourful maps and 1 very long all-nighter; ...I am free from school for the summer!

I thought I would post some pics my friend took during the course, (thanks Jill!). I am so glad I have these pics for lasting memories, since my 'war wounds' are slowly fading...

This is me, hard at work during our lunch break on the peak of a mountain of gabbro in the LU Conservation Area; our first mapping project.

Deep in the bush, I am hard at work, mapping in the magnificant rock wall behind me of a contact between conglomerate and argillite of the Huronian; our 4th and last mapping project along HWY 144N.

Ya, here I am again, sitting beside a wonderful exposure of Gowganda conglomerate of the Huronian. This was a mountain range of pure conglomerate which showed another great contact with the Argillite. A totally exciting find for Jill and I on our last day in the field.


Guess who? I'm standing in this photo for a size reference for the large outcrop of felsic veining within the 'two-feldspar megacrystic granite' of the Archean. I believe I actually learned a thing or two during this course!

The group of four stop for a final bush lunch on an outcrop of ?sandstone? I think. We were so blessed to have such wonderful weather for the entire 12 days in the bush!!!





Jill and I stop to take a pic of ourselves on a conglomerate ridge. You sure get to know each other when you are working in the bush together. All acceptable forms of social etiquette go out the window! LOL! Great times, Jilly Bean!



This is the whole gang, at Onaping Falls for a group photo. Thanks everyone for making the course fun, interesting and entertaining! (missing in this pic is our very cool TA, Mary-Beth...thanks for all the good times while on the road!!!)




~Now I am thrilled to be starting my summer off with a weekend trip away with Matt to meet his friends in Mississauga! ROADTRIP!!!!~

Almost...

TWO more days!
Actually, about 1.75 days left of the Field Geology course, (Friday we will finish midafternoon). I can't wait to sleep in just once! For the last 10 days I have been getting up just before 7am to be at LU for 8am to head off into the bush, somewhere around Sudbury and engage in field mapping exercises. I have learned a ton, and probably could have learned alot more...there has just been so much information!!! My mapping skills have definately improved, but I'll wait and see what kind of report marks I get on my write ups of the various areas we have mapped. I can't believe the hiking I have done in the last 10 days! My legs and feet are sore, but it's that good sore, the one that reminds me I did some healthy physical activity...even if it is WAY more then I would do on my own. LOL! I think after 10 days in the bush, (yes, I pee in the bush daily now), I believe I am a bonified Bush Gal! Who would have guessed????

Due to my exhausting days, my evenings have been mellow. Blessed to be able to see Matt more this past week, we've been together every evening, just chilling; out for dinners, watching movies and just growing closer together. I can't think of a better way to have ended my busy days!

Time flies...in 8 days I will be heading to TO with Matt to meet his "adopting" family. His best friends have invited us to visit for the long weekend. I am excited to meet them, but obviously nervous too, as their whole families will be there, and everyone will be forming an opinion regarding my acceptance as Matt's girlfriend. hehe...If you know me well, you know me and new situations don't mix. And if you know me really really well, you know that meeting new people is cause for anxiety. So, the May long weekend promises to be an interesting tale to tell later! Pray that I am able to relax with Matt out of our everyday setting, and have fun with his close friends.

When I get back from TO I start working for the OGS (ON Geological Survey). Back to work! You know what that means!!! A change in the direction of my account balance, and a normal schedule of M-F, with evenings and weekends to spend with Matt and friends. YAHOO!!!!

Just TWO more days...Almost done....ALMOST!

The Unnatural

It's late Wednesday evening...I am exhausted, but content too. This week has been challenging and it's not over yet! Three days of Field School done, and only ten more to go...Wow...

Field School...hiking through bush and over mountains, mapping and disecting the story held within the rocks we find. Who knew such unnatural behaviour could be so addicting. Now, I use the word "addicting" very specifically. In order to become addicted to something, one much feel some sort of positive result from said engagement. I hate the bush and the bugs and the dirt and the heat...so why on earth do I find Field Work addicting? I don't believe it's the event that attracts me, but the thrill of doing something so extremely unnatural (for me); that's the drug. The entire time I am out there I wonder, who is this person within that is finding enjoyment from this activity? I think to myself, "she's a pretty cool gal, she should come around more often". Where does this adventurous gal go when I break free of the bush at the end of the day? I wish she would make an appearance more often!
_________________________________________________________
After lots of quality time with Matt over the last few weeks, this week has been a shock to both our systems...he's been sick since Monday, and we haven't been able to see each other. I miss him. Ya, we talk everyday on the phone, but it's not the same as face to face. Please pray he gets better soon, so we can enjoy each other's company once again!

Dad's moved into his own place this week. Weird...so finalizing. I hope to visit him after Field School is over. I'd really like him and Matt to meet too. Seven months per year is a long time to be away!

Shut Up! & What A Week!

Shut Up!
I've been up for a while already. Couldn't sleep. The dialog in my head, too distracting. I suppose we hear our own voice, in our head, talking to ourself. My mind has been racing about conversations past, present and future. I wish I had an Off Switch!

What A Week!
This week has been great! I completed Core Class 301 at church. That was my favorite thus far. Only one more to go before I am "officially" allowed to be part of ministry at All Nations. hehe! (better late then never!) Worship practice was interesting; it really is a shame we don't get to practice as a whole band. Grass is always greener though; cause when we are a band, the vocalists want to be on their own...when we are on our own, we want the band there. The best part of the day was the evening, after practice, Matt and I went for a long walk and talk. It is a blessing to learn more and more about him each day! I finally went shopping and got some new swimsuits...I needed 'em, it's been a while! Matt and I walked again before our Youth Ministries meeting that night. Well, if you could call it that, it was rather short and sweet...we didn't know what to do with ourselves afterwards. Thursday I was up early, car-pooling Matt to work, so his Jetta could get a check up. I picked him up after work and we went our for supper before he had to get to the church to practice with his worship band. Friday I messed up my mom's computer by trying to switch anti-virus programs. She wasn't a happy camper! The afternoon was very cool! Val, Steve and I went swimming at LU with the youth group. Matt showed up after work and watched the rest of us have tons of fun splashing around and jumping off the Towers. We followed that by attending a dinner/concert at Grace Family Center. Saturday, Matt graciously bailed me out of "jail" by fixing said computer! He's an angel in more ways than one! After that, we spend the afternoon together. First stop: car wash, (I still feel like a kid when I go thru a car wash!), then out for lunch and shopping again...we both don't like shopping, but when together, it's doesn't seem nearly as bad. Shopping was followed by a surprise visit to Val's...hehe. I wrapped up the night by attending Sarne and Sandi's Stag & Doe party with Val and mom. (...and a call that claimed 'false alarm' from Meghan, who is due to have her baby any day now).

Wow, it really has been a busy week...lots of time to relax from school term coming to an end. Tons of time with Matt, getting to know more and more about each other! And just enough time to get anxious about my Field Geology course which starts tomorrow...YIKES...tomorrow! HELP!!!!
Until then, I plan on enjoying the church service this morning with Matt and friends, and then spending the afternoon hanging out at the local park all together...should be a blast!

ps. some pics were taken at the pool, the concert and the Stag & Doe...plan to post when I receive them.

Success!

Well, it's about time! I just found out that I passed all my classes this term! Yipee! I was pretty confident, but it's always nice to see final marks posted and completed credits added to my transcript.

Optical Mineralogy 62%
Structural Geology 70%
Geochemistry 71%

These marks may not seem like much to some people, but they are pretty cool in my books. Considering I avoided sciences like the plague in highschool, and was told by numerous profs that I would be unsuccessful in this degree program; no one is more thrilled then I to be proving them wrong and getting closer to attaining my BSc Geology!

Here's hoping I can pull an awesome mark in my summer Field Geology course which starts next week! I'll be in the bush, so please pray for 2 weeks of SUNSHINE!

Spreading The News

(April 22, 2007)

Facing Our Church Family:
Oh my, Sunday was a big day! Matt and I had talked about how we wanted to let the congregation at church know about our relationship. The situation seemed to be slightly more complicated since our worship team was singing that morning. Matt surprised me by suggesting an early announcement to our team, I said he could lead the way, and I would follow. The butterflies were up early with me in the morning, while I got ready for church...
When I got there for pre-service practice, Matt was already busy getting the group organized. Practice took place with no signs of what Matt and I had been thru the past week. We all went to pray in the back room, where I totally expected his announcement, and yet nothing happened. He was nervous, as was I. We sat and waited for the service to start, trying to tame the mass of butterflies we were both feeling.
The Gathering was such a wonderful service. It's so worshipful and meditative. Matt and I sat thru the sermon holding hands, wondering who would see and who would say something afterwards. Like nervous kids,...hehe! To my surprise and delight, at the end of the service, Matt came across stage to hold my hand during the reading of the benediction. Well, if that didn't announce our commitment to each other, I don't know what would. I couldn't help but smile.

We had half an hour before Fusion would start (the second service)...so we finally made our way into the foyer, holding hands to see who we could freak out. LOL! Many people were so thrilled for us...the response was incredible. People of all ages were approaching telling us they have seen this relationship coming for months. We both did alot of smiling and blushing. The comments and congratulations were just confirmations for me; letting me know that we aren't the only people who think God has brought us together. My only question: How come everyone saw that it was mutual before me???

Fusion went smoothly too, followed by more friends and congregation members congratulating us. What a morning! We finally got away to have lunch with my Mom, Sue and Val, who each took numerous stabs at us throughout the meal...it was so much fun!

I came home after lunch...I needed time to settle my emotions from the morning. A headache threatened, but didn't take root, thank goodness...I was gonna be out of sort enough... At 3:30, Matt picked me up to go have dinner with his parents.

Meet 'The Parents':
Bev and George are wonderful people. They made me so comfortable, welcoming me into their home. Talk went from memories of Matt's childhood to stories of Brady, Matt's nephew. Bev was bold enough to say they are hoping and waiting for more grandchildren. hehe! (something my mom would say too, no doubt). Dinner was tasty, and again conversation flowed ok... Obviously I acted a little shy and felt somewhat out of place, but hey, it's my first formal "meet the parents" dinner. Overall, I think things went well...I hope they liked me, cause I know I sure like their son...giggle, giggle. Best thing is, I bet my parents would get along great with Matt's parents...scary thought, eh!

Our evening consisted of Ignite meeting at the church for another chat about Prayer...after which everyone in attendance had to try praying. It was such an awesome event to be apart of...such openess and trust. I think our group is starting to really gel as friends. Some of us ended the night with a stop at Timmy's, where conversation is always indepth, and had few limits. You NEVER know what might come up around a Timmy's table!

Matt dropped me off afterwards, and joined me for a little walk with my dogs (Paige and Jackson). We said our goodnites and he left.
I'll admit I came home and had a little ...episode? Just all the emotions of the last week finally hit, compiled with thoughts of the future. I was overwhelmed.

God is Awesome
His Timing is Perfect
He Holds My Future
...(there's something missing here...perhaps it will come to me later...)

So yesterday was a pretty big day. It was totally fun and exciting, but in many ways I am glad it is over. Now, Matt and I can look to today, tomorrow and our future...

Apr 20/07; Even A Good Day Must End

There is so much to say...where do I start? Usually the beginning is a common place to start recounting a tale, but the trouble is that today is a day of endings and new beginnings.

Some friends will expect this post, some will be surprised...here's my story:

This week has been a most interesting week. Recall the rush and thrill of being tossed upwards and around and down by forces when riding a rollercoaster...ya, that pretty much sums up my week.
Monday was that first LARGE hill...the excitement builds, and builds...and climaxes...leaving you hanging...ok, ok...I found out that a man I have been developing a crush on as been feeling the same way about me...ya, I know...can't help it, I was glowing like a kid in a candy shop.
I suppose my Monday night was the sudden drop, plummeting down faster then you can breathe. We met to chat face to face, very honest and open...leaving things unresolved.
The rest of the week has been all those crazy tight turns, and upside down loops you laugh your way thru while you try to suck in just one breath.
Today, ya, today was that day of safe return and victorious release...that smooth ride back to the starting deck...where you finally catch your breath enough to laugh out loud, simple because you made it, you survived. Today, he and I went to lunch...it's offical, we're dating!

So, you're thinking...rollercoasters...closure and beginnings...this girl is crazy!
Sure this week was probably the most extreme rollercoaster ride of my life...which came to a blessed stop at lunchtime. But...it's only the beginning...there's a whole amusement park before us still left to explore!!!

After lunch, my day just sailed on...a visit with the grandparents, and a daring visit with my dad, which turned out to be quite pleasant, even if it was interupted by his "adopted" family...(not getting into that now)...Of course I was glowing from my lunch date, so it didn't take much for family to pull the news out of me. And at last I got to come home and chat with mom. hehe...

A meeting at the church to plan the youth events for the next 2 months was followed by a mad dash around town to gather food and snack for all, only to find out our evening plans had to change. A game of LIFE was just the ticket! A chance to lazy around, enjoy the company of friends...and pick on Val (my new younger sister! hehe...).

After saying our goodnites, I headed home...but that was apparently not the right track. God took the wheel and led me to a place where I could spend some time in communion with him. Ah, those moments we seldom take time out for, yet are SO utterly worth it whenever we just follow His lead. I found myself in a safe and quiet, prayerful place of Hope. Today was a day of blessings...how could I deserve this last one, this time with Him, to reflect and praise and seek His wisdom...Here are some thoughts from my time with Him in the wee hours of the morning:

• A list of names of my family and friends, by whom I am blessed to know, showed me just how rich I am in this life.
• Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice in it." God knew...He knew all along that today would happen! He must have felt like an excited Father on Christmas morning, just waiting to see the looks of pure joy on our faces when we discovered His surprise!
• "Awesome"...a word I should really stop using in everyday context...for if God is Awesome, what else could compare?
• A prayer for God to be in the center of this new relationship; the third (invisible) thread of a braid, which keeps the other two from unraveling.
• And when the thoughts of my mind got to be too much...

My Mind Races

My Heart Thunders

Yet My Feet Are Steadfast In You.

I think I am finally seeing what just a mustard seed-sized faith can do... Psalms 27:14 "Put your hope in Yahweh, be strong, let your heart be bold, put your hope in Yahweh".

It sure is another beginning to have found my place to meet God...I can't wait to return. It's so late...now I am tired! This day must end.

Oh, by the way, his name is Matt. :)

Reflections

Another year of school has come to an end; a great time for some reflecting.

Assuming I successfully attain the credits for the classes I took this year, I will only require 15 more classes to complete my BSc. It seems like so many upon first glance, but in reality it's not that bad; 75 credits down, and 45 to go. Perhaps I should pull up my socks next year and attempt to take 4 classes per term instead of only the 3 I managed this year? I believe that as of this morning, I can start planning my course selection for next year...a task I actually enjoy doing.

I found a box the other day. What's inside, you ask? My life!
Seriously, I have not seen some of these items for years...so I took some personal time last night to search through and discovered a lifetime of memories. Photo albums, yearbooks, an old sketch pad, some old figurines, awards from elementary school and a collection of school pictures of each year since kindergarden! Even my favorite "horse" picture books were there! Goodness, I knew I loved horses as a girl, but wow! Every album has pictures of me with horses at all stages of life. Funny how I have grown up to still enjoy their beauty, but also to recognise that physically, riding isn't as fun as it used to be. I've gotten old! The yearbooks offered an odd trip down memory lane. From grade 9 where there is but 1 mug shot of myself to grade 12 where I appear more frequently with groups of friends and clubs I belonged to. Apparently I was a member of the SSS Bible Study Club, yet have no recollection of any actual meetings...odd. I'd forgotten about a story I wrote regarding my technology course project, so that was interesting. And let me not forget to mention the endless scribblings of fellow students...sure there are notes from dear friends, even a few from an old boyfriend...but to my surprise, the majority seem to be from people I can't even remember. Silly, eh?

As I look around my place now, I see a tornado of papers, books and scraps from a year of studies, and I know I need to clean up and organise. It's a project I fantasize about being complete, but will have a hard time getting it underway. I love the freedom of a school year coming to an end! Even tho I survive all year in this chaos of pages and binders and textbooks everywhere, I actually do prefer a tidy environment. So here's to my task of tidying up. Maybe I will even start on it today?

I have a picture in my mind's eye that I would like to get down on paper. Just an idea I recently started to toy with. Perhaps with the intent of giving to a dear friend of mine? I suppose that will depend of whether it actually materializes and if I believe it is worthy of being a gift. I think it will feel wonderful to be creative after a year of science-based studies.

I woke up this morning with the thought of getting my hair cut; an idea I have also been toying with for a while. I always hold onto my longer locks in hopes of having long hair for my wedding day...someday...totally rediculous, eh. With the stress of the last few months and the release of feeling free from some of it at long last, I think a visit to the chop shop would be fun. Today is as good a day as any...

It appears my mom's to do list will be put into effect today.
#1) Empty the vacuum canister under the stairs and clear that storage area so that we can rearrange it once dad's stuff is gone.
The list is much longer, but I think that is all that she wants to accomplish today, thank goodness, as I have some plans of my own that I would like to do.

Oh, I was so blessed to have a chat with my dearest friend, Raun yesterday. God knew I had alot on my mind and needed a talk with Raun. It's amazing how God's timing is so perfect...and yet when there are things we long for, we wonder what's taking Him so long.
I needed a reminder that His time is perfect! Just as much as I needed to chat somethings out with Raun, (you always have great advice, my friend!!!).

Wow, what a long post...#3...and I still can't believe I am doing this!
Is anyone even reading these things??

Butterflies

Have you ever found a butterfly
Silent
Still
Out of the corner of your eye
That light flutter
Then again, still

Have you ever seen a butterfly
Soaring
High
Wings of grace, creation's beauty
Hold your breath
With the wind, gone

Have you ever felt butterflies
Flutters
Intense
Your chest, their cage
Remember to breathe
Smile, set free

in the beginning

i cant believe i am joining the world of blogging. this will be a whole new experience for me. i have enjoyed learning more about people through their blogs and hope my tales will be of some interest to others.
i consider myself to be somewhat creative, so the intent is not to make this a simple journal of events, but a collection of thoughts, experiences and creative writings.

"the [keyboard] is mightier than the sword"