Rain, Rain, Go Away...

this week has been rather gloomy. it matches my mood. i guess you could say that i had a very high High this week, as well as a very low Low. the High obviously being progressive discussions with Matthew about where our relationship is at and where we hope it's headed. the Low being a rather cold email from my dad, basically telling me to have a nice life, as he leaves the country in 23 days. yup, he's moving to the czech republic. he'll be back here to teach four months a year, but that's it. and sadly, he doesn't even want to keep in touch with me via email. how weird is that? how do I deal with that? what is a daughter to do when her own father doesn't work to hold on to her friendship? oh, apparently, if the timing is not right (for his schedule) he has stated he will not return to canada for my wedding, (whenever that is); that comment was in his email too. is there anything i could do to mend our relationship? does he want a new life so badly that he is willing to write us all out? i pray he is doing what will make him happy. but i also pray that when i celebrate my 50th, i'm surrounded by family and friends.

tomorrow is the final ANC youth group event of the year. The Amazing Race!!!! pastor steve has put so much effort into organizing this event, and we all just spent the evening completing the final touches. i hope and pray that everyone has fun and stays safe tomorrow and saturday. i am so excited about this event, but you wouldn't know it from my behaviour tonight. i feel bad about my actions tonight...i wasn't in the best of moods, obviously, and it showed. now i feel like i let my friends down by not being the happy me they know and love. so the secret is out, i can be a great complainer when the mood strikes me. do you know how hard it is to keep smiling when it's the last thing you feel like doing? sometimes, i guess my sadness leaks out as complaints. perhaps a good cry would be a better option? does anyone understand how new events and situations stress me out beyond belief? am i the only one that feels like this? any tips on how to handle it?

tomorrow is friday, end of the work week...oh yeah, i got a breakfast date tomorrow with my best friend, sarne. there are things i need to share with him too which are worrying me. it will be hard to talk to him about it; but usually the best results aren't products of easy tasks. wish me luck and/or pray for me as i face a few tough situations in the approaching days!